There you go...

There's something about Caleb....

2011-03-03T15:52:00.000-06:00

that I really love! Well, actually there is a LOT about him that I love!

When I was a young girl dreaming of motherhood, I never thought that I would be a BOY mom. I assumed that I would have girls and do girlie things.

When I was pregnant, we decided that we would not find out the gender. I wanted that surprise moment in the delivery room. But, for the whole time I was pregnant, I sort of knew deep inside (my womb! haha) that I was having a boy. Oh, we chose a girl name too. Had Caleb been a girl, he would have been named Mackenzie Grace or "Kenzie". I had known a sweet Mackenzie when I was younger and loved the name. The name Caleb Andrew, on the other hand, has totally different origins. We'll save that story for another day.

One of my favorite moments in life was when the doctor delivered the baby via C-section and prompted Jeremy to tell me the gender. Jeremy's voice was thick with emotion and excitement. Even though I could not see his face, I could hear his smile and amazement as he shouted, "IT'S a BOY! You're right! You are always right!!"

Now, one of the many reasons that this is a special memory is because I was able to witness my love become a father and hear that in his voice. But, I also delight in the fact that we have Jeremy's declaration of my "rightness" on tape!!

Oh, wait... this post is supposed to be about Caleb, not me. Well, maybe we could say that that sweet boy has inherited some of his mama's enjoyment of being "right"!

And so I will end this post with a list of 10 things that I love about Caleb:

10. I love that he can tell me the most obscure facts about most college and professional sports. I always ask "Where did you learn that?" He says, "I read it in a book."

9. Relating to #10, I love that he LOVES to read. Once, he got a new book from the bookstore and when we got home, he came to me and said, "Bye mom" as he headed to his room to curl up with his book for hours! I think that I must be the only mom in town who has to fuss at her kiddo for reading too much.

8. I love that he is such an encourager to others. I watch him as he talks to others on his basketball team and I am so proud of the way that he builds his teammates up.

7. I love that he hates to be late. (He probably does not love that I am often late.)

6. I love that he has great comedic timing. The other night he had me in stitches at the dinner table!

5. I love that he is a planner. He writes himself notes all the time and plans out what he is going to wear for the week.

4. I love his determination. He sets high goals for himself and then pushes himself to reach them in sports and in academics.

3. I love his quick smile and great laugh.

2. I love that he is such a gracious gift recipient. I have seen him open presents that I knew that he did not totally enjoy but he was still so grateful and thankful to the giver.

1. I love that he wants only butter on his English muffins, only strawberry cream cheese on his bagels, his sandwiches cut with the crust cutter and not too much jelly, his quesadillas "easy on the cheese", fries instead of tots at Sonic, ranch and honey mustard on the side of his chicken nuggets, only regular cheese goldfish, and bananas without too many brown spots. I love that he loves all that just so AND that this morning he said, "I am not picky about food."

Oh, I love that boy! I do! I do!

Bing? What's in it for me?

2010-12-21T23:29:00.000-06:00

Have you seen those commercials about the search engine Bing? It is touted as the "cure for search overload."

I don't get it.

Skating through it all.

2010-02-26T13:15:00.000-06:00

I sobbed as I watched Joannie Rochette perform the other night after the passing of her mother this weekend. I prayed for her as I watched her perform. I cheered as she won the bronze medal.

After her mother died, Joannie had no other choice but to go on and skate. She had to. It was the Olympics. Her mother would have wanted her to do it. It was Joannie's dream for herself. It was what she was made to do.

However, I imagine that there was a part of Joannie that wanted to NOT skate, not compete, not participate at all-- to call it a day, hang up the skates, go home, curl up into the fetal position and be done.

She might have wondered how she could possibly breathe much less skate since she had no mother. What strength would she have in her legs to jump and propel herself across the ice? Perhaps, the moves that she had tirelessly practiced and perfected in preparation for the Olympics now seemed like fuzzy memories that really didn't matter. Triple salchow, triple-Lutz, double-toe-loop combo... What do they matter in the big scheme of things? Except that they do matter. They mattered because they were what made her who she was.

So, Joannie made a decision. She decided to go out there and skate with strength, courage and perseverance to show the world the kind of champion her mother had raised.
I cried to watch her skate so beautifully and gracefully. Knowing that she carried such a heavy burden of pain. Knowing that what pushed her to give an extraordinary performance was born out of that same pain.

In no way to diminish this skater's grief and spectacular strength under pressure, I don't believe that her skating is any less beautiful than the strength, courage, and perseverance that the rest of us show when we go on with our lives in the midst of grief, pain and suffering. Her courage was just more public. We have no cameras, no emotion evoking music, no announcers to champion our courage and bravery to get up and go on with the show without our loved ones.

But we must persevere. We must become who we are intended to become even though our hearts are missing a part.

Joannie Rochette made it to the podium. I hope to see you there as well.

It's beginning to look a lot like CHRISTmas!

2009-11-18T18:41:00.000-06:00

A few years ago, a friend asked me to join her and 23 other ladies in an ornament exchange intended to prepare our families to celebrate the birth of Jesus. We used the book The Advent Jesse Tree: Devotions for Children and Adults to Prepare for the Coming of the Christ Child at Christmas as a guide.

Following her lead, I decided to host my own group of ladies this year. I invited ladies from many different circles: neighborhood, church, school, etc. We had our first meeting about a month ago and shared a lovely lunch and conversation. Each lady left with an assignment to make 25 ornaments which symbolize some part of the Christian faith history. Some examples are: apple with a snake, sheath of wheat, slingshot, coat of many colors and others. From the pictures above, you can see that I am the sheep with a shepherd's staff.

We meet again tomorrow to share our ornaments and exchange. Each participant will go home with the devotional book and 25 different, wrapped ornaments to open for each day in December.

My hope is that the ladies and their families will be blessed in many ways by setting aside time each day to go to God's word and focus on Him and his truth during the hectic Christmas season. May they be reminded of the realities of God's grace and love for us.

I challenged them to host their own group next year with 25 of their friends. Maybe you would like to host one as well!

Move over, Nellie Olsen.

2009-11-10T23:35:00.000-06:00

What a sweet picture of Mother (35) and Daughter(7).

Mama's smile just about breaks my heart in two pieces.

At her baby shower for my brother, Justin.

Don't you just envy my outfit? I am almost positive that Mama made that dress for me. She sewed many of my clothes when I was younger. I remember that I loved that dress so much. It was Laura Ingalls Wilder Chic! Don't laugh. I was trendy at the time.

It was June, 1979 in my small Texas hometown. I had just finished 1st grade and been promoted to Big Sister status. I was sporting a well-coiffed Dorothy Hamill hairdo and was headed off to a baby shower for Mama and new baby brother, Justin, at the First Baptist Church. I am sure that my inner dialogue went something like this:

What to wear? What to wear?

Oh!! I know what will be great in this sweltering summer heat:

My black, long-sleeved, floor length, patchwork quilt dress.

You just never know when Almanzo will show up and whisk me away!

I remember having a disagreement with Mama about wearing this dress. I also remember being resolute and determined to wear this dress. "I just HAVE to wear it." She was probably trying to reason with me telling me that it was too hot. But, you know as well as I do, that, sometimes, one must sacrifice comfort for style.

I'll bet that you are probably thinking that I sacrificed both. Hey, I was 7 and times were different then. Give a small town girl a break!

Don't you think I'd fit right in On the Banks of Plum Creek ??

Ode to Diet Coke

2009-10-06T15:58:00.001-05:00

Dear Diet Coke,

I miss you so much that it hurts.

It has been 2 weeks, 1 day, 3 hours and about 15 minutes since we have been together.

I know you are there, but I will not have you.

I have seen you in the mall, the grocery store, on tv ads.

I stopped in my tracks at the sound of your familiar poptop.

Just hearing you fizz made my heart skip a beat.

Oh, how I miss the bubbles that sting my throat and tickle my nose.

Everywhere I turn, you are there. I miss the feel of your ice cold can in my hand.

Water is such loneliness.

Tea pales in comparison to your refreshment.

No one can find your kind of fun in coffee.

Kids say the darndest things: Caleb version

2009-09-27T16:53:00.001-05:00

Two weekends ago as we were getting ready to drop him off at childcare for Parent's Night Out at church:
"Mom, I am really getting tired of you abandoning us all the time so that you can go out on dates with Daddy."

Nice try, son. You almost had us, but not quite. We continued with our plans and abandoned him for 3 whole hours while he played video games and basketball at church.

Fast forward to this past weekend as Caleb was getting prepared to go to an overnight sleepover lasting from 4pm until 9 am the next day:
"Caleb, we are really getting tired of you abandoning our family to go to birthday parties. We think you should stay home." (wink, wink)

But that turkey did not miss a beat, he replied, "But, Mom, I will be having fun when I go."

There you go.

How's that for good driving?

2009-09-27T07:51:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, the boys and I were in the van headed to drop Jonathan off at a birthday party. We were not late, but there was not a lot of cushion either so I was driving fairly quickly through a green light at an intersection. This intersection was a little higher than the road so I was able to get the van to catch some air and we felt like we were flying for a few milliseconds.

Jonathan said, "Wow, Mom. That felt like a rollercoaster. My penis was flying through the air."

Well. I have nothing to add to that one.

There you go.

Pork fat rules in the gym, too.

2009-09-26T12:38:00.000-05:00

This morning, I was working out with my trainer at his gym. Jeremy brought the boys about halfway through my work out because he had to go to Cub Scout training. He was looking mighty dapper in that Grown Man Scout Uniform, let me tell you. Psst: Not really. I think that the grown men look a little silly. But the boys look so so cute!! I do applaud him for the effort that he puts forth with Scouts and with our boys so I overlooked the uniform and greeted him with a kiss. He got the boys occupied in the foyer so that I could finish up the last half of my workout.

All was going well: Jeremy was on his way to training. Kids were patiently waiting doing whatever. I was working up good sweat while chatting with my trainer about my eating plan and how following it would ensure losing another 2 pounds this week.

Between my repetitions of seated rows, I heard a small disturbance come from around the corner in the foyer. The boys were struggling about something. They settled down soon enough, but I still thought that I should take a look at them. After I finished that set, I used my luxuriously-long 45 second break to waltz over to see what was up.

I wish that I had had a camera, but I never ever expected to see anything like this. Guess, I should take some scout training myself and "Always Be Prepared."

Let me describe for you the scene:
Jonathan was sitting in the chair playing the DS game. (You may recall that I have a ~~love hate~~ hate hate relationship with the DS from this post)

Let me continue:

Jonathan was sitting in the chair playing the DS game with Caleb's head so close that you might have thought that they were connected. Both boys' eyes were glued to the small screen. As I wiped my sweaty brow, imagine my surprise when I saw the bacon. Bacon? Yes. Bacon.

Jonathan had a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth that his brother was holding for him. Caleb was shoving it in as Jonathan chewed. All while never missing a beat with the video game.

Being the good Cub Scout family that we are, we have taught them the buddy system. Stick together with your buddy and help him out as needed. We encourage them to use it and praise them when they do. But, I never, ever thought that they would use it as a food delivery method for a buddy who was in the middle of a video game.

It was wrong on so many levels, y'all. I shook my head in disbelief, shock, and a tiny bit of shame as I headed back to my work out.

You may be asking yourself, "Why did they have bacon?" Obviously, it was because they needed it to round out the breakfast of donuts and chocolate milk that they also had with them. I mean, what is the use of massive amounts of trans fats and high fructose corn syrup if you can't wash it down with a little pork fat?

The worst part of it was when my trainer asked me what had happened. I could not think fast enough to make up a better story so I told him the ugly truth all while avoiding eye contact with him. All I could do was to try to laugh it off. Oh well. Parents of the Year Award goes to.....

Before you think that I am just throwing Jeremy under the bus for giving this stuff to the kids, I need to confess: After my work out last Saturday, I bought them donut holes and chocolate milk, too. Also, I have no problem with them eating bacon, just, maybe, not at the gym. And maybe, just maybe, they could manage to tear themselves away from the DS long enough to feed themselves rather than using the buddy system.

There you go!

2009-09-09T22:02:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had a friend that you haven't spoken to in a long time and as time drags on, you start to wonder what you might have done to make them upset and not call? You ask yourself, "What did I say that made them mad?" and replay your last conversation analyzing every word for what you might have done wrong. You get the picture.

I think that my blog has started to wonder what it has done to offend me.

I have not written in many months. However, I have started a few blogs but left them unfinished. (I am holding out hope that this one gets completed. The jury is still out.)

Never fear, my dear blog, you and I are ok. We're good. I am not mad at you. You have not offended me. I just lost my voice for a little while, but it might be coming back little by little.

To say the least, my life has been different and difficult since April. Sometimes, I have to use my sheer determination to fight off grief. If you who know me, you know that I am quite determined. Sometimes, though, grief does not care how determined I am. It creeps up when I least expect it and I find myself defenseless (or so it may seem at first glance.)

Like today, I was driving to Bible study and I had the urge to call my mom as I have done on Wednesday mornings for the past few years. I reached over to pick up the phone and then WHAM! I get the sudden realization (again) that I can call, but she will not answer.

It hit me like a ton of bricks right in the middle of my chest. Seriously, this is a physical pain that I feel. It made me feel so vulnerable and disempowered. In a strange way, I had to go through the intense feelings of losing her again in that moment. I was flooded with grief and confusion mixed with guilt and anger. I scolded myself thinking, "How could you let that happen again? You know that your mother has died. How could you forget? What kind of daughter are you?"

Once I was done with the scolding and needed to deal with the emotions at hand, all I knew to do is to pray for comfort and peace. (which is doing quite a lot, actually.)

Sometimes comfort comes in the form of a distraction, or a task that awaits demanding my full attention, or a sweet friend that calls to chat, or simply a song. Today, it was a song. When the worship leader started playing the hymn, "Because He Lives" and I realized what we were singing, I felt like God was giving me a big hug. I am so thankful for that. I really needed it. I prayed and comfort came. Thanks for thinking of me God.

I CAN face uncertain days because He lives.
Hey, I finished a blog post! There you go!!

Linda's Big Debut

2009-05-27T22:14:00.003-05:00

Here it is!! I am so excited about it! Seeing it on television certainly made today a little easier to handle. It took my mind off the fact that today is one month without my mom, at least for a few minutes. I still am sad, but also feel giddy about this. Funny how everything comes back to her. Everything. She was so proud of me for getting to do this and was certain that I was destined to be the new HEB spokesperson. I seriously doubt that, but it was a very fun one-of-a-kind experience. I wish she could see it, but am happy to share it with you.

PS. I know that I owe you a conclusion to the whole shooting the commercial story. I had decided that I would probably never finish it since now I live in the "After Mom Died" part of my life and I had started writing it in the "Before" section.

But now, for some reason, I think that I can finish it. I hope that it won't be a let down with all this hype about it.

Yesterday, I was indignantly questioning God's timing.
Today, I thank Him for it.

Movies and Meatloaf Sandwiches

2009-05-26T10:46:00.003-05:00

After the boys completed their to do lists yesterday, we went to see the new Night at the Museum movie. As promised, I let the boys get a treat at the movie. I am a pushover so they got to spend $5 instead of the $3 they earned. I told them that they got a bonus for having such good attitudes. Quick thinking, don't you agree?

As I was purchasing the snacks for the kids, I turned around to catch a glimpse of Jeremy. He was wandering around the atrium looking at the movie posters and eating a piece of cheese. Yes, I said CHEESE. He had brought his own snack to the movies and had the audacity to open up the plastic wrapper and eat it right there in broad daylight in front of God and everyone.

I shook my head at him and motioned for him to put it away. I could not believe him. My reaction to this harmless piece of cheese was certainly was a little exaggerated, even for me. Then it all came back to me as I started having flashbacks from my childhood.

Picture if you will the early 80's. A savvy mother prepares to take her tall daughter and red headed young son to the movies. She is on a budget so she plans ahead and packs a snack in her purse for the children who are bound to get hungry while there. At the movies, the group finds seat and the lights dim.

Sure enough, hunger strikes. The mother whips out her prepared snack for the kids: warm meatloaf sandwiches. Unaware of the contents (or maybe we...er, um... I mean, they did know the contents), they take her offerings and open up the ziploc baggies that she hands them. As soon as the baggies open, the tall daughter realizes that the unmistakable smell of the meatloaf is wafting its way throughout the theater. She feels her face redden and turns to her mother in shock and horror making a face that says clearly, "How could you do this to me?"

The other patrons smell it too and begin to turn around to find the source of the smell. The daughter quickly shoves the sandwich into her lap and pretends to look for the source as well. She is sorely embarrassed but still hungry. She quickly devours the odoriferous, yet comfortingly savory, sandwich while no one is looking and hopes that the smell of meatloaf will dissipate quickly.

Aaah, memories of childhood and the smell of meatloaf sandwiches, there's nothing like it!

There you go!

A spoonful of sugar!

2009-05-25T16:08:00.006-05:00

What a great day we have had today! I planned ahead and made "I Love You, Mom To Do Lists" for all the members of our family and left them for the boys. I awoke to the glorious sound of my children scampering through the house whispering about how they were going to wipe the bathroom countertops and make their beds just like the list said. Really, how much better can it get than that?

I am reading a book called Sanity in the Summertime by Linda Dillow and Claudia Arp. I adapted the I Love you mom list from this. In the book they recognize that often moms set up many different types of chore charts that are motivational for a short time, but then the charts fall by the wayside. I do the same thing, and usually end up feeling like a failure for not keeping up with it. The authors had the same tendencies, but they realized that it was normal and just kept making efforts with various chore charts. The I Love You, Mom Chart is just a one time checklist of things to do before going on a fun excursion.

I think that my boys liked doing this because there was the hope of the payoff at the end, and also because they had a finite list of things to do. Usually, they are willing to do chores and help out, but become frustrated when I continue to come up with things that need to be done. This way, they knew that they were done when all the spaces were checked. The list that I used today looked like this for each boy:

Note the fun things included in the list just to keep them going!

We are going to see Night at the Museum at 1:45. We will need to leave for the movies about 45 minutes before it starts to make sure we get there in time to get tickets.
Read the entire list before doing it. You may do the things in any order.

Caleb's I Love you Mom List:

_____ Clean up around desk... beneath, beside, on top etc.

_____ Clean up clothes and other stuff that has fallen off onto the closet floor. Hang up clothes if needed.

______ Give mom a kiss.

______ Bless the Family by doing a job that needs to be done, but is not on this list. YOUR chance to HONOR!!

_______ Pick up all your stuff of of your room floor. Tidy up!

_____ Make sure Libby is out of her kennel.

______ Pet Libby and tell her how much you love her.

______Wipe down bathroom countertops with a clorox wipe.

______ Swiffer the hardwood floors.
_______ Give Dad a hug.

______ Dust living room.

_______ Put away clothes from your tub.

_______ Bring completed list to mom for a chance to spend $3.00 to spend at the movies.

Jonathan's I Love you Mom List

______ Clean off desk top. Make it look nice and neat.

______ Give Dad a Kiss.

______ Bless the Family by doing a job that needs to be done, but is not on this list. YOUR chance to HONOR!!

_______ Pick up all your other stuff off of the floor of your room and tidy it up.

______ Put away the pile that is on the dining room chair.. even if it is Caleb's stuff. Most is yours anyway, I think.

_______ Feed Tom

________ Push the I feel good button for Tom.

________ Wipe off your bathroom toilet with clorox wipes... get the pee off the bottom of the toilet too, please. Throw wipes away and don't wipe the pee anywhere else.

______ Tidy up the sports equipment, helmets, bats, ball and stuff in the garage.

_______ Give Mom a hug.

_______ Use the glass cleaner to clean the back door glass and the kitchen table.
________ Put away clothes from your tub.

________ Give this completed list to mom for a chance to spend $3.00 at the movies!!

The list only took me about 10 minutes to create. It was motivational for the boys and was a great for preventing complaining and bad attitude: Both boys were done with their lists by 9:00 am. I need to remember to put more on them in the future!!

On another note, I am just keeping it real by leaving in all the chores for Jonathan including the pee wiping! If you know me, you know that pee on the toilet is an ongoing problem in our family. I tell him that when he is a grown up and has a house of his own, I am going to come and tee-tee all over his guest room bathroom just like he does to mine. We have worked and worked on that one with those boys. I am out of ideas so now I just have them clean it. I usually go behind them and clean too, but it is the principle, you know!

Have a great Memorial Day!

Now for the rest of the story and a little extra.

2009-05-18T23:34:00.001-05:00

How did I fracture my humerus? I was deep in the Toro Negro rainforest in Puerto Rico on an "adventure" involving some hiking, climbing and zip-lining. Well, I think that there was zip-lining, but I don't personally know since I slipped and fell off the waterfall that I was climbing before I could get there.

Yep, I worked hard for 12 weeks anticipating zipping through the rainforest conquering fears and breaking down barriers. Before my mom passed away, I had thought that doing this adventure would signal some sort of "new me." I really had high expectations of this event. Instead, I broke my shoulder before I could get there. I had worried that I would be afraid and chicken out, but I did not worry about injuring myself. I had told mom about the trip and our adventure plans. Always a protector, she didn't totally approve of it, worrying that it might be too dangerous. Just goes to show that I might should have listened to my mother just one last time. I guess I'll never learn.

And yes, we went on our trip even though I had buried my beloved mother the week before. I figured that the Lord knew when Mom was going to die and He knew when we were going to Puerto Rico and perhaps, his plan was for me to have some time away to grieve and not have to take care of anyone else. We knew the trip would be a different one from the one we had planned, but we tried to make the most of the days that we were given.

Back to the jungle. I guess that I should have realized that I might be in over my head when our tour guides stopped at the US Coast Guard to pick up three guys who were going on the tour with us. Maybe, just maybe, I should have clued in when we had to sign our lives away on the liability forms. However, the most telling sign of all was when I overheard a young lady ask her Coast Guard hubby, "What year were you born, honey?" I nearly fainted when he responded, "1988."

1988 !?!!!?!

Seriously, I was a sophomore in high school in 1988 and had probably not even heard of Puerto Rico by then. And you are telling me that this guy who was born in 1988 is an adult, married and in the Coast Guard? Jeremy's 38 and my 37 years made us look like the grandpa and grandma in the group.

How did that happen? We were just on our honeymoon...uh....oh... 14 years ago.

Oh well. "Hand me my teeth and Centrum Silver, Jeremy. We're going on an Adventure with a capital A!"

As we made our hour long journey to the rain forest in our maroon 15 passenger van, I joked with all the young whippersnappers that it felt like we were on some reality television show. I could just see it, "Eleven contestants from all over the US, brought together by their desire for adventure.... now facing the peril of the jungle " Cue intro music. The others all laughed in agreement as I said, "I just hope we don't get stranded out there and have to decide which of us we have to eat in order to survive. I have never been fond of cannibalism."

Below: That's me , Jokey McJokester getting ready to go! Note all the young 'uns with me.
I don't look that out of place, do I?
Don't answer that.

After snacking on some fresh yummy bananas, they gave us our helmets and harnesses. We set off on the slippery path to the rainforest.

The water was cold and refreshing as we waded about waist deep through the rocky path. All of our fellow contestants, ... er, I mean, adventurers, were very helpful to one another by lending a steady arm or a word of encouragement as we trekked along.

And, I was doing great. My mantra was "It does not have to be pretty. It just has to get done." Honestly, it wasn't pretty at all as I already had huge scrapes on my legs and bumps and bruises everywhere before slipping into the tide pool at the bottom of the waterfall.

But, I was getting it done and that was all that mattered.

I was doing great...until I wasn't.

When I fell, we were climbing beside a smallish waterfall, about 8 feet high. The waterfall is usually more of a trickle, but because of all the rain (in the rain forest), it had worked up to a pretty good flow. I sure wish we had a picture of the waterfall, but my mind was not on photography at that moment.

I was having trouble getting my big feet in the small crevices. I was scared. It took me a few minutes to build up the courage to hoist myself up. When I did, my bottom foot slipped. I held on tightly with my right arm, spun around into the rock face with my shoulder. Then, the waterfall whooshed over me and plunged me down in to the pool at the bottom.

Falling was not that bad. In fact, once I felt the cold water rush over me, I remember thinking, "If that was the worst thing that could happen, then I am ready to tackle the climb again. Let me at it." However, I had an immediate change of heart as the sharp pain shot through my arm when I tried to raise it to get out of the water. I could not lift it at all. Frantically, I tried lifting it with my other arm, but I could not hold it up. It just fell back to my side and hung there throbbing with pain. I waited nervously for the others to finish this part of the trail and kept my arm under the cold water to help minimize the pain.

Finally, Jeremy and the tour guide decided that my adventure had come to an end. We took the "emergency exit" hike out of the jungle to wait for everyone else to climb the BIG waterfall. (They used a rope and harness on that one, by the way.) Once I found out about the emergency exit path, it sort of ticked me off that there was an "easy" way out of the trail the whole time. BUT, I guess that I should be glad for that trail or else I might have a new address. Something like 3 Waterfall Way.

As we maneuvered our way back out through the rocks and water, I began to realize how badly my arm hurt. Focusing on the guide's feet as he led me to the meeting point, I crawled, staggered, ran and did whatever it took to get myself there. I remember panting, "I'm going to throw up." Jeremy thought that I had just run out of energy, but the reality was that my arm hurt so badly that my stomach begged to be be emptied, IMMEDIATELY! At one point, I pleaded with the guide to just leave me there and come back to get me later. He just kept pushing forward. In retrospect, it was a good idea to keep me going, but I was really disgusted with him at the time.

Poor Jeremy chose to cut his adventure short and stay with his injured wife. I felt so badly for him. (and still do.) He says that he is not upset about it, but it sure is a bummer that he had to miss it because of me.

We waited at the top of the next big waterfall for everyone to climb up. He took a few shots of the scenery but did not feel like he should take any of me. Good call, dude. (This is not the big waterfall, either. It is a flat area near where we were sitting.)

Y'all, I was so brave. I was embarrassed and ashamed and really hurting. I was disappointed and disgusted. I wanted to cry and cry and cry. It was just a little too much to handle at the time. BUT, I used my one arm to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get through it. I even managed to make a little joke through it all:

After waiting about an hour for everyone to make it up the big waterfall, Jeremy and I rejoined the group and headed back down the trails to the van for lunch. As we hiked, I held my poor shoulder and pretended to plead with the others as we made our way to van, "Please, please vote me off the island! I just want to go home."

I might not be interviewing for any Survivor seasons in the near future, or ever, for that matter, but I am a survivor in ways that no reality show or rainforest adventure can ever show.

Hey, did I learn something about myself without doing the zip-line? Who would have thought??

There you go!

PS...After lunch, I stayed in the van while the others did the zip line in the pouring rain. Jeremy said that it was really exciting, but hard to enjoy since the rain pelted him in the face as he zipped along. I am glad that he had some adventure of his own, though!

Look what I did on my vacation...

2009-05-17T13:10:00.003-05:00

Fractured humerus. Not Humorous!

Surprises behind every door

2009-05-03T20:44:00.003-05:00

Ok. I am sad. You know I am.

However, my boys are full of life and are a balm to an aching heart without even trying.

I totally had to laugh out loud when I found this while looking for a loaf of bread in the freezer:

It seems that our youngest scientist wanted to see how the balloon would pop if he froze it first. I often find strange things that Jonathan is freezing for his experiments. They say that "Necessity is the mother of invention", but I never knew that "Freezers are the mother of experiments" until I became a mom.

I guess he comes by it honestly, because I used to do experiments as well. My fixation was not the freezer, though. I used to light toothpicks on fire in the kitchen sink while my mom was mowing the yard. They turn a bright orange color as they shrivel to black charred pieces. I totally remember the smell , too. Once, I graduated to lighting up paper towels, but they caught on fire QUICK and scared me to death so I went back to toothpicks.

Man, I was living on the edge back then, let me tell you. Did you notice that at least I had enough sense to light the toothpicks near a readily available water supply?

Now there's something that you did not know about me! (And if you like me at all, you will NOT share this with my kids. I will just move the experiments in the freezer to get to the bread, thank you very much.)

There you go.

PS. Do you think that my mom knew about my secret obsession with fiery toothpicks? I wonder sometimes.

A Daughter's Tribute

2009-05-02T23:04:00.002-05:00

This week did not turn out like I had planned. I planned to shop for my trip to Puerto Rico, work on the backdrop for Jonathan's 1st grade program, take the kids to swim team, get my hair highlighted, watch my eating very closely and train hard.

Instead, I buried my mom. Here's what I said for her eulogy...

What can I say about Mama? Some of you may not have known our mother the way that we did so I want to honor her and celebrate her life by giving you a better glimpse of who she really was.

Most who met Mama would say that she was always kind to them. She was quick with a smile and had a great sense of humor even though she tended to be very private and did not share herself with everyone. She respected others and did not feel the need to force her opinions on them. She often worried that people thought that she was stand-offish, but in fact, that was her way of respecting them and their rights to make their own choices. This quality made her a great listener, and others often came to her for her advice which she would give only when asked.

There was not much that Mama was not willing to try. She would rise to most any challenge. She was so intelligent and was always learning, just because she could. While she was enrolled at TSTC as a 55 year old, she looked forward to the mental challenges that the course work gave her. The students around her would look to her for assistance and she would take the time to help them if she could. Justin told me that thought of that time at TSTC as one of the best periods of her life.

Mama had relentless perseverance and an ability to forge ahead regardless of what life dealt her. No matter how hard I try, I can never do justice to what she overcame in her lifetime. She faced many hardships in her life with a dogged determination and with a sort of submission and acceptance that I did not always understand. The latest obstacle was the lung cancer that she had been dealing with over the last 2 years. When she was first diagnosed, she had a calmness and a peace about her. She told me once that if this was what the Lord had for her then she knew that it was His plan and she would accept it. I hope that one day, Justin and I will have the outstanding faith that it took her to say that and mean it like she did. When the cancer returned in this past month, she told me “No matter what happens, it is all going to be ok.” And she really meant it then too. Those wise words comfort my brother and me as we miss her so much right now.

Mama was consistent and dependable and had an outstanding work ethic. She often said, “A job worth doing is worth doing well.” She took pride in doing her best at every task no matter how big or how small.

Mama was generous. She had a tender heart toward others. She would give something to someone even when she might have to go without because of the gift she was giving. She made sure that her family was taken care of even if it meant she had to sacrifice something important to her. Recently, I asked her if she had enough money, wondering if she needed to borrow any from us to meet her needs. She quickly asked me, “Why, do you need to borrow some?” Her generous nature almost broke my heart that day. Sweet, thoughtful mama.
Mama had a humble, servant heart. She was the kind of person that would think about other people before herself. She never liked asking for help, but she was always ready to lend a helping hand to others and would do everything in her power to help. Many of you here today have been served by her at one of the stores in Riesel. You were probably greeted with her sweet smile and a cheerful hello. She served her children well also. Justin and I have fond memories of her making our morning coffee for us. When we were growing up, we loved to listen to the sound of her working in the kitchen in the morning. We would hear her whistling under her breath and we we knew that all was right in the world.

No one loves you like your mama does and, our Mama, was certainly no exception. She and Daddy had difficulty beginning their family with the tragedy of miscarriages and even losing baby John in infancy. But she always told Daddy that it was her dream to be a mother. And in my opinion, she was the best one around.

Mama and Daddy adopted me in 1971 when I was 12 days old. She did such a great job of loving me well. I never questioned her love for me. When I was growing up, strangers might say, “Your daughter looks just like you.” Mama would just answer proudly, “Thank you” without missing a beat or feeling like she needed to explain our lack of biological connection. What a gift that was to me.

I still remember when I was 7 and Justin was born. It was another great day in Mama's life: She had another child to love and she truly did love him with all her heart. After he was born, she could not fathom leaving him to go back to work so she embarked upon a home day care business to allow her to spend more time with him and watch him grow. She adapted well to having a son: Justin remembers her throwing the football and baseball with him in the front yard when he was playing little league. At one time, she could throw a fairly decent spiral “for a girl”. He also has memories of her helping him memorize his football plays in high school. She was always so proud to support him in his sports and rarely missed a game or a track meet.

Justin and I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that we were loved by her. We were loved sacrificially. Mama gave up so much of herself to make sure that we were taken care of. Her devotion to her children was truly extraordinary. We absolutely, unequivocally came first. She put our needs ahead of her own.

Mama was always on our side. We knew that she was in our corner no matter what. Having her on our side strengthened us as we ventured into our adult lives. Often, I would call her up and tell her how the world was being “mean” to me and she was always a great listener and would drop whatever she was doing and take the time to talk to me. She could make it all better for me as if I were a child and she was kissing my boo boo. I always felt better after sharing my heart with her.

You knew when you had done something that made Mama happy or proud. She had a certain look on her face that was so telling of how she felt on the inside. Her eyes would light up and she would give a great big smile. Justin and I both loved being able to bring that out in her.

This past weekend, I had such a wonderful time with Mama. I took her to her radiation appointment and then she announced that she wanted to treat me to lunch at Luby's, our favorite from my childhood days. We ate and got caught up on each other's lives. We shopped a little, too. No trip to Waco is complete without a trip to Wal-Mart, you know. Then, we went home and watched videos of Jonathan and Caleb, her grandsons, and just had a fun time being together. Neither one of us knew that it would be the last time that we spent together. We both made plans for the next time that we would see one another. I am so thankful for that weekend and the precious time that we had.

Justin also had a sweet time with mom on Sunday after I left. They went out to the farm, looked at the cows, and enjoyed spending time together admiring the farm and the pretty day. As Justin checked on her before she went to bed that night, she told him, “Don't worry about me. I'll be ok.” This is his last memory of her, as herself. She was always a mama, always protecting and thinking of her children.

My very last memory of her, as herself, is also bittersweet. We had a little good-bye ritual dating back to when I went away to college. Whenever I would leave after a visit and head out to wherever my life was taking me, Mama would always walk me outside and give me a hug before I left. As I was driving away, I would always look over my shoulder and give her one last wave. This past weekend was no different. I looked over my shoulder and waved. Mama waved back and I was on my way full of her love. I will cherish this memory forever and ever.

I would like to share this scripture from 1 Corinthians 13 with you about the kind of love that Mama showed us.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Mama had this kind of love.

And then it goes on to say...

For now we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now, we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror. Then, we shall see face to face. Now, I know in part. Then, I shall know fully even as I am fully known.

Mama lived these characteristics of love for us on a daily basis in her life. Not perfectly, because no one can can as perfection has not come yet, but she did live them here on earth. While we are grieving, we are comforted that now her perfection has come and she sees the Lord not as a poor reflection in the mirror, but face to face. She is fully known and made whole and complete in the Lord's love.

And these three remain. Faith hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

She would always say that Home is where Mama is... meaning that she felt at home when she was with her Mama no matter where she was physically. Well, now Justin and I can truly say that, too. Home is where Mama is and I look forward to the day when we are reunited in heaven.

If only my life were a musical...

2009-04-17T23:33:00.006-05:00

I love a musical and I love live performances.

Tonight, I had the opportunity to see both! My friend and I went to a local theater company's production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. I would have titled this post "Sobbin' Women" or "Bless Your Beautiful Hide", but I don't know how many others share my love of it and would catch the reference..

This musical holds a special place in my heart because it is my mom's favorite. When I was younger, I recall that she would get so excited when we would stumble upon this movie on TV. Remember that this was ancient history....a time before before VCRs and DVRs. You just had to watch whatever you could find. When we would find this movie, her face would light up and everything else would come to a halt as we watched Millie tame those mountain boys. What a fun memory!

I don't think that I have ever shared with you that I wish that my life were a musical...or at least had a soundtrack. I have often wished that I could break out in a song and have those around me join in with the perfect choreographed moves. I am serious, don't you think that would be fun?

In high school, I helped backstage with the choir's production of Sound of Music. I married a man who played Kurt VonTrapp in summer children's theater. I know all the words to "Do-Re-Mi", "My Favorite Things" and a few more. Let's just say that if the hills were alive, I'd be spinning around and dancing on top of them.

Another musical that I have always enjoyed is Fiddler on the Roof. I saw the movie of it for the first time when I was a senior in high school. I had never seen anything like it before. Now, nothing gets me going like a rousing rendition of "If I were a rich man" by Reb Tevye played by Haim Topol or "Matchmaker, Matchmaker make me a match. find me a find. Catch me a catch". Oops, I sort of got carried away there with all my singing and dancing! Topol is coming to Houston for his farewell tour of FOTR and I sure hope that I get to see it live.

Let's not forget Grease and Footloose... those are great too! Oh and I loved Fame and Flashdance. I love Bye, Bye Birdie, and The Music Man, and Rent, and Jesus Christ, Superstar, and Meet Me in St. Louis, and The King and I, and Miss Saigon (saw that one on Broadway), and South Pacific... and... and...and...

I'm thinking that you get the picture. I haven't met a musical that I did not like.

Do you like musicals? Do you want to break out in song and dance like me? Just wondering!

Now, I'm off to see the Wizard. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz....

Mountains out of Molehills...

2009-04-16T09:22:00.003-05:00

Here is my mountain of "Clothes That are Too Big". They are being donated to charity tomorrow.

There is no plan B. All clothes that don't fit anymore are about to be gone.

If you see me wearing the same outfit all the time, now you know why!

How to change a tail light in 3 or 4 easy steps.

2009-04-15T15:52:00.004-05:00

The other day I tried to get my van inspected, but it failed.
Next time, it should study harder. HA HA!

I was a little put out because I don't like to fail anything. Those big automotive guys were just picking on me, I'm sure.

Nevertheless, they gave me 15 days to get the windshield wipers and the cracked tail light repaired. Then, they will reinspect it for free (except that I have already paid them $40 so don't get me started on the FREE thing).

I set out to get the parts for the repairs on my own. After all, I once drove a 1972 Ford Pinto and everyone knows the acronym Ford is "Found on Road Dead". My bright orange FORD Pinto was no exception, so let's just say that I know a little about automotive repair.

I walked in to Autozone with my head high and my shoulders back, confident that I could maneuver the store. Well, it did not take long for Autozone to break me. Not long at all.

All the items looked the same. I could not find any info in the catalog about tail lights and there was a long line at the register (all males wearing shirts with their names emboridered over the pocket). I started to sweat a little and get confused about all the different blades. It felt like I was wearing a sign that said, "This woman knows nothing about this stuff. Please feel free to take advantage of her." (I feel the same way when I go to Vitamin Shoppe. Like a fish out of water.)

I hung my head in defeat and shuffled out the door. Later, I asked, no, begged Jeremy to go back for me and take care of it. He went to Autozone as well and also turned up with nothing there. We had victory at Advance Auto Parts! They ordered the part and assured Jeremy that he would be able to do the job himself.

I picked it up Monday after my training and cardio session. I was feeling empowered after all that physical activity so I decided that I would try my hand at changing the light myself. If I couldn't figure it out myself, I planned to consult the fount of all knowledge.... Google, of course, for detailed instructions.

Here is the light before:

Moving along to step 2. Easy Breezy!

What number are we on. Oh yeah. Step 3: Now, plug in the light and screw it back in.... (wow, I sure do hope that no one plans to use my post as a detailed explanation of how to change a tail light.)

Step 4: Take a picture of your dirty hands for your blog.

There you go!

All this Birthday stuff is going to his head, but at least he's cute!

2009-04-11T07:54:00.006-05:00

My baby, Jonathan, turned 7 yesterday. He is the funniest, sweetest, cutest 7 year old you will ever meet. Not that I'm biased or anything.

Yesterday, we were at Target spending his gift certificates and he met a sales lady in the shoe aisle and he told her "Today's my birthday!" If he did that once yesterday, he did it 100 times...at Target, at Game Stop, at lunch, at the Good Friday service, at Chili's for his birthday dinner. Everyone he told gave him exactly what he wanted: They responded with a cheerful "Happy Birthday" and some small talk about his party, presents and just how happy they were it was his birthday. As we walked away from the sales lady, he confided in me, "Mom, you know, I'm good at conversations."

Yes, Jonathan. I had noticed.

Wonder where you got that?

At lunch, he and Caleb were deciding some important matter like "who's going to go first?" or something and Jonathan said, "Caleb, can I go first since it is my birthday?"

I leaned over to Jonathan to remind him that he was the birthday boy, not the birthday brat. Before I could get those words out of my mouth, he smiled mischievously and whispered, "That's how I get my way. "

Yes, Jonathan. I had noticed.

Wonder where you got that?

Let's take a walk down memory lane... I don't have any digital photos of him when he was 1 and I don't feel like scanning any so that year is missing. Sorry, but not sorry enough to do anything about it.

Birth Day April 10, 2002

2nd Birthday: Clifford Party

3rd Birthday: Fireman Party

4th Birthday: Sports Hero Party

5th Birthday: Superhero party

6th Birthday: Skate Party

7th Birthday: Chuck E Cheese party

Jonathan's name means "gift of God" and he truly is!

By the way, did you see those dimples that he has in the picture above?

Wonder where he got those?

There you go!

I think I found my new calling! Part 2

2009-04-10T23:00:00.001-05:00

As promised, my story continues. If you missed part 1, go here!

As you recall, Penny from Wardrobe had said that I should bring some comfortable clothes that might work for the commercial in case the client liked them better than hers. She also said that I did not have to bring my whole closet, just a few of my favorite options.

What woman in her right mind would wear "old clothes" on a commercial? I logically treated her request to bring clothes as an open invitation to go crazy with the credit card at all of my favorite clothing stores.

While I was shopping, my mindset was different than normal. I wasn't looking for clothes for Plain ol' Linda. No, not this time! I was shopping for the HEB commercial "star" who had just been discovered! It felt so glamorous. It proves that attitude is everything!

While I was shopping, I got a call from the Producer. Again, I felt so glam and important on my cell talking to a "producer." Ooh, la la! Watch out Hollywood! We went over a few details of the shoot, but before we got off the phone, I mentioned jokingly to him that I was out shopping for clothes for the commercial. He quickly reassured me that I did not have to do that at all because wardrobe would take care of it. Silly producer, shopping's for girls. It's really no trouble!

Fast forward to Monday.

I arrived on the outskirts of Austin right around 11 am in plenty of time for my noon call time. I had practiced my lines as I drove and felt fairly confident in them. Of course, that confidence was a bit overshadowed by the anxiety that I felt about the whole experience. It was truly a "What on earth have I gotten myself into?" moment. But, I just bolstered myself with encouraging self talk such as, "This will be a fun experience. If they wanted a professional, they would have hired one. They want a mom and you qualify!"

I checked in at the front desk of the studio and tried to look nonchalant as I lugged my load of clothes and various toiletries. You see, I did bring most of my closet with me after all. (I am sure that none of you are surprised about that, now are you?) She showed me to the waiting area where I met 3 of the other "talents" for the commercial. (That's what they call you... talent. In MY case, they were using it very loosely!)

The other 3 ladies were from the Houston area and knew one other. Two of them were actresses and the other lady was just a regular person like me. When I walked in one of the ladies asked me, "Are you an actress?" Without thinking, I replied, "Nope, I'm just a person." What a dufus I can be sometimes!! Seriously, that was the best I could do? After a few minutes of awkward silence while I am inwardly chastising myself, someone came to usher me to wardrobe to fill out some forms and to let Penny choose my outfit.

Forms! Maybe that means $$$! Yep, I had to fill out a contract and a W-2. It was a small stipend, but I did not feel the need to negotiate a better deal!! Ha ha!

I did not know how to fill out the contract so I asked the director's asst to "walk me through it." I choked back a guffaw when she pointed to one of the lines and said, "That is where you put your agent's name so we know where to send your check." I replied in all seriousness, "So, since I don't have an agent at this time, should I put my home address?" (As if I was just in-between agents or something.... HMMM....Maybe I have more acting talent than I gave myself credit for!!)

There's more to the story, but that will have to be a Part 3!!
There you go!

I think I found my new calling!

2009-04-06T22:03:00.000-05:00

You may remember that I told you I had the opportunity to get free groceries from HEB as part of a market research study aka the HEB Low price challenge. I was as happy as a clam to get my free groceries and never really gave the whole experience much thought.

Until, one random Monday, Niki from HEB called and asked if I would be interested in doing a commercial for HEB. Since I am afraid of public speaking and hate to be in the limelight, I politely declined.

NOT!

Actually, I gasped out a yes without even asking any questions as to where and when it was to be shot, or how much, or even if, there was going to be any money changing hands. I think I scared the poor lady just a teensy bit!

She explained that the commercial was to be shot in Austin and the dates were already set. Would I be available and willing to fly or drive to Austin the following Monday? I could barely control my excitement. I think that she got the point that I might be willing to take a Greyhound bus or a scooter to Austin for this commercial opportunity. We ended the conversation with her promise that the production company would call me back with more details later that week.

As promised, a lady from the production company called and wanted me to send "head shots." This excited and scared me because I started to realize that I might be out of my league here as the closest thing that I had to head shots were some pics Jeremy took of me before his company Christmas party in front of the Christmas tree. She also mentioned that they might need some children for the commercial so I volunteered to send pics of my boys as well. You all know that I think that they are the cutest kids in America, right?

Before we got off the phone, she informed me that I was on a "Strong Hold" for Monday's commercial and I would hear more from them later. I sent those Christmas head shots off faster than you could say "Deck the Halls" and wondered what in the world a "strong hold" was. Much to Jeremy's chagrin, I failed to ask if I was going to be compensated for my participation in the commercial. I reminded him that I was still more than willing to pay them for this opportunity!

I fretted that I would not look like they wanted me to, but decided that I was who I was and that was that. Also, I still had the $150 in free groceries to assuage any of my tender feelings should they decide not to use me.

The family was planning a Cub Scout camping trip that I opted out of so that I would be available for any calls about the commercial. I started to realize that I might be more than a "strong hold" when I received an email from the production company with the scripts for the commercial. They sent three scripts and told me to be prepared for all three as they had not assigned them to anyone yet. (I knew that there were going to be at least 2 other women there for the commercial. )

Picture this: Me with my personal trainer practicing my lines while lifting heavy weights. Me on the treadmill at the YMCA practicing my lines. Me in the shower practicing my lines. (Wait, don't picture that one.)

The hardest part about the three scripts is that they were definitely different, but also VERY similar. The email had said we would have a teleprompter, but I did not really know how that would work so I wanted to be prepared. Remember, we are a scout family!

My excitement and tensions mounted when "Penny from Wardrobe" called on Friday evening to get my sizes so that she could go shopping for me.

Penny told me that the HEB folks were looking for the "Gap Mom" look with 3/4 sleeves, possibly layers, with no greens because we were shooting on a green screen. We discussed my height and jean and shoe options. She told me that I could bring a few things from home that I felt met the criteria and that made me feel comfortable. She mentioned that I did not have to bring my whole closet, just a few things in case what she bought did not work.

Again, much to Jeremy's chagrin, I did not ask if I was going to get any moolah for making the commercial. I told him that I had missed the opportunity to ask that question. Penny from Wardrobe was nice, but I did not think that she was signing any checks, you know! (I was still willing to work for free!!)

Penny from Wardrobe's call did, however, put me in a bit of a panic. Remember that I don't have any clothes from last year that fit me properly AND I had been sorting of limping by in the wardrobe department since my size keeps changing. (Getting smaller--wahoo!!)

I worried that I told her the wrong size, and I would be unable to participate because the clothes she bought might make me look like a sausage with a belt around the waist. I guess I could have always said that you could get the sausage cheaper at HEB.

With all this in mind, I selflessly set out to give ole Penny from Wardrobe a hand. I shopped until I dropped! I saved every receipt so that if we did not use the items, I could return them.

Well, fans, that is all for today's post. Tune in tomorrow to find out if the "Strong Hold" turned into something fantastic. (Here's a hint, IT DID!) Also, I promise that I will write more about shopping for the HEB Shopper Mom, the call from the Producer, and the question everybody wants to know: Will Linda be paid for her commercial?

It's a nailbiter! There you go!

The words I did not want to hear....

2009-04-06T16:59:00.004-05:00

My mom's cancer is back. We knew that it was a matter of "when" not "if".

But, this "when" sure does seem soon, if you ask me. But no one did. I could be mad at God. I could be mad at my mom. I could be mad at the mailman, for that matter. None of that will do any good.

It is what it is. I told my mom that we will walk with road with as much grace and strength that we can. Thankfully, my grace and strength come from an Unending Supply.

It is in her lungs and in her brain. They will treat it aggressively. Good idea. Treat cancer aggressively. It deserves no mercy.

This is the verse that I am counting on:

2 Corinthians 9:8 (Contemporary English Version)

⁸God can bless you with everything you need, and you will always have more than enough to do all kinds of good things for others.

The Little Engine that Could, Maybe.

2009-03-26T08:38:00.000-05:00

I hit a mental wall the other day in my fitness journey.

I have a goal that I am trying to reach by May 6. I need to lose 8 pounds of fat. Not just any old 8 pounds, but 8 pounds of fat. Honestly, I would be perfectly satisfied with losing 8lb of anything that wanted to come off of my body with the exception of a limb or something. However, right now I am not in totally in charge of this journey, my trainer is. Therefore, we will do it his way, since my way has not worked for, oh... about 37 years now, so 8 lbs of fat it is. In fact, I lost 3 lbs the other day and we did not even celebrate because his calculations showed that I lost muscle mass. Who would have thought that I would EVER be anything less than ecstatic about a 3 lb loss?

In order to meet my May 6 goal, I do resistance 3x a week and cardio 4x a week and eat every 3 hours of the waking day. This looks exactly like what I have been doing since making this lifestyle change about a year ago. It has been working, and I know that.

But, the looming deadline is a new dynamic that is messing with my mind.

Why a deadline, you ask? I plan to zip line through the Puerto Rican rainforest the first week in May. Yes, I am serious. I decided to make this my next "Hard Thing." I need to lose 8 lbs to meet the weight requirement. (Humbling to put that out there on the internet, but I'll just count that as a hard thing, too)

We are 6 weeks out and I am still trying to play both sides of the fence. You know, have my cake and eat it, too. Honestly, I have not succumbed to cake, but too many carbs and sugars for sure!

Several times, I have told my trainer and my husband that I don't want to actually do the whole zip line thing. I want to take myself out of the game entirely. Up until now, I have been focused on the process of losing weight and being healthy and enjoying the benefits as they come to me. This new wrinkle adds an element that makes me uncomfortable. I am seeing what I am made of and I don't like it.

I know what I need to do. I know what it takes to get there. I have been doing it with much success.

I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. Can I?

Oh Misery, thy name is Strep.

2009-03-24T15:57:00.003-05:00

You guessed it. Strep has found its way to our home and into my body. I finally caved yesterday and decided that I might need to see a dr.

I knew something was not right by my response to the lady at Eddie Bauer when she asked me if I wanted her to go get the Long length pants on 70% clearance that she had in the back. My response was not elated jubilation (which is the usual response anytime that I can find pants long enough for my 6'2" body), but instead, I told her that I did not feel well and did not feel like trying on clothes today.

I don't know why I felt like I had to give her a reason, but I did. She, however, was not deterred and brought them to me anyway. Being me, I felt like I had to try them on for size even though I was feverish and felt like I had a large, scratchy rock in my throat. Before heading into the dressing room, I rallied and grabbed a few other items since I was going to make the most of it. She was right. The pants were great, but I decided that I did not need corduroy pants in Houston in March no matter how little they cost. (I hope to be a smaller size by winter anyway!)

I managed to find a cute outfit. I tried to find a link to it on the Eddie Bauer site since some of you told me that you enjoyed the scarf link in a previous post, but I came up linkless. You are stuck with my description: a green, sleeveless shirt that has a criss cross front, a band below the bust and then looser around the hips to bring the emphasis to the top and camouflage the "problem areas" and a denim skirt that falls perfectly at my knees. All that time I spent watching "What Not to Wear" is paying off, baby. Or at least, I think it is. I sure wish I had the $5000, Stacy and Clinton to help me out though.

Right now, I would just settle for more antibiotics!

Calebism #1

2009-03-20T18:33:00.004-05:00

We have had a great spring break this week complete with sleepovers, swimming, cousins, grandparents, tractor rides and playdates with friends.

Today our friend came over with her 3 boys and 1 extra boy. In our opinion, you can never have too many boys!

Caleb wanted to go onto a website before they came over, but we ran out of time so he changed tactics. He came to me with a straight face and told me how much his buddy wanted to go onto the site (he is so selfless and other centered, you know.) I smiled and told him that I did not want this playdate to be all about electronics and that I just wanted them to play.

He said, "Mom, this is the 21st century and playdates are all about electronics."

Nice try son. Now go play so that Mom and her friend can update our Facebook statuses.

Mama always said that there's more than one way to skin a cat.

2009-03-07T22:51:00.002-06:00

I have this new friend that I really enjoy. We have many things in common: We are Aggies. We are BoyMoms. We both have 9 year olds that are in the same class at school. We both work out at the same place. We are both sarcastic. There are many more similarities, but you get the picture.

Today, however, I realized a big difference between us. It noticed it when she asked me what I wrote on the note that I sent to school when I took my son home early to go to the rodeo. You see, she was preparing to write her note today, Saturday, for Monday when she plans to take her son to the rodeo. (There's another similarity: We both go to the rodeo.)

I could not resist the urge to point this difference out in an email to her. Note that I mentioned that we were both sarcastic.

Here is what I wrote:

Dear Name has been omitted in this blog to protect our budding friendship,

Just for fun: Here's a difference between me and you:

You: Carefully plan out your note for Monday and write it on Sat. Place it in the designated spot for notes and other home/teacher communication. Have your son pack it in his backpack on Sunday night to make sure you don't forget it. Serve him a healthy breakfast at the kitchen table and check to make sure he packed the note. Wish him a great day at school.

Contrast that with...

Me: Jot down something illegibly on a scrap of paper or napkin using a crayon while driving the kids through the car rider line wearing my jammies. Hand it to the kids who accidentally get syrup on it because they are having to eat their waffle in the car. Wipe syrup off on jammies. Give kids slightly sticky note. Wish kids a great day at school!

The good news is that we both get the job done!
There you go!

Rodeo Houston!

2009-03-07T06:00:00.001-06:00

We took the fam to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo Thursday. The boys were all aflutter because we took them out of school early to beat the crowds. We were all looking spiffy, if I must say so myself.

Note about my hat: I have ALWAYS wanted to wear a cowboy hat to the rodeo, but did not have the spunk, aka: self-confidence, to pull it off. Since my past year has been themed: Do Hard Things, I decided to go for it even though I was nervous. But first, I took a poll of my family: Jeremy and Caleb gave the hat a thumbs up while Jonathan gave it a thumbs down. Jeremy reminded me that I needed to trust myself more than I trust a 6 year old boy so I went with the hat. I am glad that I did! It was fun!

We bought the traditional Rodeo Funnel cake:

Jonathan is cut off of the picture, but he is sad because we won't get him a sprite to go along with his other sugary treat. Aren't we horrible parents?

Caleb is ever the statistician. He timed the cowboys and recorded their scores on the program!

After the rodeo, I was excited to see Clay Walker perform. Jeremy and I really liked him when we were dating and I was looking forward to reminiscing.

Jonathan had other plans, however. He decided that Clay Walker's performance would provide the perfect background music for him to learn how to blow his first bubble. He proceeded to park himself between me and Clay. This is what I saw:

Victory!
Oh well, I can listen to Clay on my IPOD anyday!

There you go!

Hi ho, Hi ho! It's off to work, I go!

2009-03-06T10:41:00.004-06:00

After 8 1/2 glorious years of staying home with my kids, it might be nice to make a little money. Technically, I only stay home with the dog at this point since both boys are in school, but that point is neither here nor there. Since I have been unsuccessful at finding a job where I do nothing and make loads of money, I decided to fall back on my degree and apply to be a substitute teacher.

After months of being on the sub list and not subbing, I finally accepted a job today. It was an ideal situation: a half day job for a teacher that I know. I was so excited about it. Caleb was too. He said, "Mom, you are going to make me so famous by subbing at my school!" Glad I could help you out there, son.

I arrived early to make a good impression and because I didn't want them to dock any of my $45 dollars minus taxes that I would be paid for the half day. Seriously, I have paid a sitter more money to watch my kids while I go out on a date with Jeremy. And all I wanted the sitter to do was to keep my kids alive and mostly happy until I got home.

Today, I was in charge of 19 or 20 First graders. I knew that I would need a few tricks up my sleeve so I packed stickers, books, and a cool light up toy that I dubbed my "Happy Ring." Sheer genius, I tell you!

It started well as I managed to get them all in safely from recess and delivered to their afternoon classes. Then, the fun began with the group that I taught in the afternoon. They seemed to multiply as the day went on, and by multiply, I don't mean mathematically. There were so many of them and they all had something to tell me and they needed to tell me all at the same time and they were so cute that I did not have the heart to make them quit. The Happy Ring worked wonders though and I patted myself on the back for such tremendous forethought.

Here are some highlights:

We played a Bingo review game in which I had to comfort a sweet little girl who had tears welling up in her eyes because she did not make a Bingo.
I had to go in to the boys' bathroom and flush #2 down the toilet because someone forgot to flush and none of the boys would do it for me. (I flushed using my foot and held my breath the whole time! Looks like all those years of staying home with my kids were preparing me for something.)
When a substitute teacher tries to change up a 1st grade class' routine, whether intentional or not, it causes them all to simultaneously shout out "That's not the way our teacher does it!"...maybe they are all a teensy weensy bit OCD, but it could just be me...
Holding a clipboard is all that I really need to feel like a real teacher again!

Since it has been a while since I taught, I knew that I might be a little drained by the end of the day. Whoa buddy, I am beat. My dogs are barking, too! I forgot the reason that teachers wear sensible shoes. They walk the equivalent of a marathon in about a day and a half.

One of the horrible side effects of working today happened when I got home and tried to play my Wordscraper games. I was so tired that I missed a 4XWord score, and my archrival, Kristin, scored 70 points off of the word HOG. She couldn't believe that I missed that move and asked if I was just letting her win. Not at all, my dear Kristin. My brain just does not know how to respond to 4 hours of hard labor.

But, at least I am $45 minus taxes richer!!
There you go!

Will someone please help me hold my eyes open?

2009-03-04T09:34:00.006-06:00

I am a night owl. Truly, I am. I can get more done after 10:00 at night than most people do in a whole day. When I was younger, I could bounce back after a late night, but not so much anymore:

When Kristin and I were in Philadelphia, we stayed up until about 2am Thurs, 3am Fri, and 5am Sat.

Our mantra was: We did not come all the way to Pennsylvania to go to bed before 2am!

(The mantra changes according to the city that we are in at the time. We also don't so much use it as a mantra, but as a threat to the weaker one who looks like they want to go to bed. We are not above bullying, or as I like to refer to it, creative motivation, in our relationship.)

What were we doing until all hours of the night, you may ask? Although I would like to tell you that we were partying like rock stars or solving the world's problems, we weren't. We were scrapbooking: chronicling our families lives by making a book of scraps. She and I have been bonding over scrapbooking since before we had kids. Her husband says that their family is the best documented family on the face of the earth and I believe him. Mine is a close second!

Now you may also wonder, why can't you scrapbook during the daylight hours? You see, we belong to an ancient group of Vampire scrapbookers and our only inspiration comes at night OR we are just plain crazy. Honestly, we did scrap during the day, but the genius really comes at night. Perhaps, it is the caffeine and sugar that we drink in order to stay awake that stimulates the creative side of our brains. I don't really know, but that is just how it is.

Anyhoo, we thought that we were so smart since we took early evening naps. Also, I planned to sleep on the airplane ride home. I am sure that you recall that my plane sleeping plans were thwarted. I did not worry much as I had a slow Monday and figured that I could catch up while the kids were at school and bounce right back into my busy life.

Yeah, things did not happen like that.

Let's just say this: It is Wednesday and I can barely hold my own head up without massive amounts of caffeine and a 30 minute or 3 hour nap each day. The old gray mare just ain't what she used to be! (hey, did you say that I was gray? I beg to differ as I paid good money today in between my morning and afternoon naps to be blonde!)

I really don't have a point to this blog, or maybe I did, but I am too tired to remember.
There you go!

25 Random Things about me:

2009-03-03T09:10:00.000-06:00

1. I was adopted at 12 days old. Having kids was an especially cool thing for me because I finally had someone who looked like me (even though everyone always remarked that he looked just like my husband).
2. I always wonder what I did during those first 12 days.
3. I still trade Christmas cards with my 5th grade teacher and I can name every teacher that I every had from K-12.
4. I really love a Diet Dr. Pepper from Sonic. It's the ice, baby!
5. I don't make my bed on a regular basis because we are just going to get back into it that night.
6. I like repetitive mindless tasks and am really good at them.
7. I once wanted to be a doctor or an advertising executive.
8. My fingers turn an amazing shade of purple when I am cold or stressed. Oh yeah, my toes do it too!!
9. I learned how to swim at the age of 35 from my kids' swim coach.
10. Friends is/was my favorite show. I have been know to ignore a real friend's phone call so that I could watch my fake friends: Monica, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, Ross and Chandler.
11. I keep several episodes of Friends on my DVR and watch it almost daily.
12. I have lived in Texas, Virginia, and Louisiana.
13. I love the color pink and wear it in some form at some point everyday.
14. I have been over 6 feet tall since about 6th grade.
15. I really get tired of people who ask me how tall I am. When I am really irritated, I will tell them in inches and make them figure it out for themselves.
16. I love to learn new things, often just for the sake of learning.
17. I became a Christian at age 14, but really started walking closely with the Lord when I was in my early 20's.
18. I spend way too much time on the computer... (bet you knew that one!)
19. I have always loved to read.
20. I wish my life were a musical or at least had a soundtrack.
21. Our family watched a space shuttle lift-off during our 2007 vacation to Florida. It was the coolest thing ever!
22. I am a night owl who has been trying to reform herself for many years without any luck.
23. I think that my kids are the cutest, smartest, cleverest, handsomest kids in the world.
24. When my youngest son was born, he went through a not so cute stage: baby acne, cradle cap, red blotches, and hair that stood straight up. I told Jeremy that we would just love him even though he might grow up to be ugly. Jeremy thought that I was nuts. Looking back, I think I was. Gotta love those postpartum blues.
25. I do not like to listen to messages on my phone answering machine. Right now there are 8 messages on it and I do not know what they are about. Moreover, I do not want to listen to them and probably won't for days. Call me!

Just Keeping it Real

2009-03-01T23:35:00.004-06:00

This post has been added in an effort to keep this blog true to life. We apologize in advance for the negative tones that are present in this entry. We expect that the positive, uplifting tone will return once the author gets a decent night's sleep and hug from someone in her family.

Do you remember that a few short days ago, I posted about how much I loved airports and how romantic they are and all that junk?

Well, I don't exactly take it back because I did feel like that on the Thursday when I was fresh. Note the past tense used in that sentence.

You guessed it, there is another side to that "Romantic, I would love to travel all the time" coin.

A not so pretty side, called: "Sunday-night-travel-home-when-the-plane-is-delayed-and-a-snowstorm-is-threatening-to-come-in-and-dump-9-14 -inches-of-snow-before-I-can-get-home-and-I-am-so-tired-what-was-I-thinking-when-I-left-the safety-of home".

All exacerbated by the following:

We stayed up until 5am scrapbooking and being silly. Sleep deprivation brings out the best in me. Not.
I did not have lunch. When I did try to eat, I stood in line at Burger king for about 10 minutes. When I reached the counter, the lady showed me a small, one might say miniscule, sign that said that they did not take credit cards. "What kind of place in America, in an airport nonetheless, does not take credit cards?!?" I screamed deep inside my head, as I sweetly turned on one heel and searched for an ATM machine.
Plan B of catching up on sleep on the plane ride home was thwarted by an Evil Master Plan devised by some Evil Tweens in the row behind me who had more energy than the Energizer Bunny. They kept talking and talking and talking and talking and kicking my seat and kicking my seat and kicking my seat.
The cabin was C-C-C-C-COLD!
I was even colder since during the 5 minutes that I actually did fall asleep, I inadvertently spilled about 16 oz of ice cold diet coke all in my lap. Good times! Good times!

Did I give up with all that "adversity"? No, I persevered! I used a ton of Self-Talk strategies.

It was tough, but I did it. I survived the scheduling delay and the Burger King debacle. I did not let the evil plan to keep me from my beauty sleep stop me, but instead, I used that wide awake time to categorize the pictures on my laptop. The diet coke dried and Flight 1077 triumphantly landed in Houston.

I maneuvered the baggage claim, the park-n-fly, and drove all the way home for a warm welcome from my darling family whom I assumed were waiting expectantly for me to return and complete their lives.

Well, think again, baby. I came home to a dark house and all boys snug in their beds.

But as the saying goes, There's no place like home!

There you go!

2009-02-28T21:57:00.008-06:00

We have had such a great time here in Philadelphia. I have a few observations that I want to share:

1. I was totally surprised at the number of homes here in town that still have their Christmas decorations. There were lots...not just 1-2, but more like 10+ homes that had lights still and they were lit. PSSST... y'all, it's gonna be March tomorrow.

2. Speaking of y'all, we actually had someone ask us, "Where are yous from?" I almost swallowed my gum when I heard that, except that I wasn't chewing any.

3. I ate the first Philly Cheese Steak of my life at Talk of the Town, a local hole in the wall. I did not know that folks had such convictions about them. The debate centers around the cheese. There are basically three camps: the American Camp, the Provolone camp, and the Whiz camp. We had Provolone because we had heard that we did not want anyone to "Whiz" on our sandwich.

4. I need to brush up on my American History. This trip certainly gave me a boost, but there are tons of things that I have forgotten. I was trying to tell my boys about what I had learned but they were underwhelmed since it was not new to them. I guess they have learned a lot from Liberty Kids.... maybe I need to tune in with them! Here I am at Independence Hall in the room where the Declaration of Independence was signed:

5. Martha Washington was a great cook! I had her Turkey Pot Pie today at City Tavern today and saw one of George Washington's favorite places to hold secret meetings. They even painted the room George's favorite color. Here it is below:

6. Everyone has a little Rocky Balboa inside that has to come out on the steps of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. You feel a deep need to jog the stairs, humming "Eye of the Tiger", and raise your arms in victory once you reach the top. Now in my case, my hands were raised because I was glad that I made it to the top alive and I was trying to get as much oxygen to my lungs as quickly as possible. Not really, but I did count that run and the run to get back onto our to bus as my cardio for the day.

I just had to reach out and grab that Eye of the Tiger!!

Have I got a story for you!

2009-02-26T19:14:00.003-06:00

Mon: Free Groceries!

Tues: Enjoying great seats at the Rockets game with access to the suite for yummy food and drinks!

Thursday: Jaunting off to Philadelphia for the weekend!

I really could get used to this.

It is a far cry from my regular life of laundress, maid, and Disciplinarian Extraordinaire. (By the way, my spell check does not like me to use the word Extraordinaire, but it is just a testimony to my perseverance that I keep using it anyway...)

I am sitting in the airport trying to look nonchalant while typing. I honestly think that the only thing that separates me from the business travelers around me is that my laptop is PINK! Well, that, and my purse is purple and my carry-on is pink, purple and green. Corporate America ain't got nuthin' on me!

Speaking of carry-on luggage, let me tell you that I would never do well as a criminal or terrorist. My blood pressure surges and my pulse races every time I go through those security checks. All this while I am trying to maintain my law-abiding citizen status. Imagine what I would go through if I decided to go to the Dark Side?!?

I love an airport, though. I love the possibilities of all the places that I could go. I love to think about where all the people are going, where they have been and what they did there. I wonder as I watch people: What is their story?

Where is the silver-haired gentleman to my right going? Perhaps to reunite with his wife after a week away on business.
Is that hand-holding, smiling young couple about to begin their honeymoon?
Are the two older ladies in those spiffy hats walking with such fervor because they are going on a much awaited girls' weekend?

That's a pretty romantic view of an airport, isn't it? Life isn't always as pretty as imagine it. I do know one thing: There is a God who knows our story. All of it. The pretty parts and the ugly parts and he still desires a relationship with us so much that He sent His son into the world to pave the way.

Guess what I got to do?!?

2009-02-23T15:32:00.005-06:00

I am totally on cloud 9 today!
I got to go to the grocery store!!

Wait, don't think I'm crazy.
This really is cool! I bought the groceries and someone else paid for them! Yup, you heard correctly! HEB gave me $150 in groceries today! Told you that it was cool.

I have been applying for various market research surveys for a few years now, desperately trying to qualify so that I could share my much valued opinion with others and make a little pocket change while doing it. (Until now, I have never been called back to participate in one of the surveys, but I didn't take it personally, nor did I let it stop me from sharing my opinion with others.) My lucky day finally came when S from HEB called and asked me to do a comparison shop with her.

S told me that all I would need to do is to fill out a few forms, have my picture taken, and then do my regular grocery shopping while she follows me around scanning in the items with her handy dandy machine. Then, HEB would pay for up to $150 of my grocery bill.

Be still my beating heart!
Free money is one of my love languages,
and I am in love with S from HEB.

After I make my getaway with my free groceries, S will take the list of items that I purchased and go to a competitor's store and buy the exact same things. Hopefully, for HEB and my newly budding career in show business (did I tell you they took my picture?), HEB prices will turn out to be lower.

Details, details... Let's keep our eyes on the big picture: Free groceries and they might use my photo in advertising !!

I have not dressed up for grocery shopping since my first child was a newborn and getting out to go to the grocery store was the highlight of my week. Today, however, I had full make up since this was my big debut. I even wore a pretty pink scarf just to look the part. (I don't know what part, but a scarf just seemed to be necessary. )

Shopping was fun. Checking out was even more fun. I could get used to the lime light.

Here's a new one for Hallmark: Brother's Day!

2009-02-22T21:21:00.008-06:00

Three years ago, my boys were feeling left out on the whole breakfast in bed traditions that we do for Mother's and Father's Days around here so they invented a new holiday: Brother's Day. Then, they informed us that we observe Brother's Day on the last Sunday in February by the parents serving the kids breakfast in bed.

In an effort to promote family unity, J and I decided that we would encourage Brother's Day and plan some fun brotherly activities to do as well. This morning we made a yummy breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes, bacon, strawberries and strawberry milk:

When we walk into their room, the tradition is that they are in the same bed "sleeping" and totally unaware that they are about to be honored as brothers.

They look totally unaware, don't they?

Let the celebration begin!

Fancy, Fancy!!

After church, they got to pick the restaurant for lunch and chose Fuddrucker's. As we were walking in to the restaurant, Little Brother said, "Caleb, let's hold hands." At first, Big Brother balked at the idea, but when Little Brother replied, "Let's do it because today is Brother's Day", he agreed and they walked hand in hand through the parking lot. (warms a mother's heart, let me tell you!)

In honor of Brother's Day, they also got a chocolate milkshake. (almost anything goes on BD!)

We talk a lot in our family about how other friends may come and go, but our brother is our best friend for life. It is our prayer as parents that C and J will grow to adulthood and still be great friends.

Maybe, just maybe, one Sunday in February far in the future, they will feel the need to find their brother and share a milkshake.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

⁹ Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
¹⁰ If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
¹¹ Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
¹² Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Bet you did not know...

2009-02-21T10:11:00.001-06:00

that I am an expert in chinchillas. Well, not so much an expert, but knowledgeable about them in a "present this information to 6 year olds" sort of way.

I had the pleasure of sharing my new found "love" of chinchillas to 4 different 1st grade classes at Jonathan's school on Friday. And truly, it was a pleasure.

To prepare for this adventure, I attended a 3 hour training session given by the district's science center. I did it back in October or something like that and since I have slept a time or two since then, I didn't really remember anything that I had learned. To top it off, I could not recall where I had placed the handout with all of the information either.

Ever the procrastinator, I decided between episodes of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice on Thursday night that I should look for the handout and study up on chinchillas before making a fool of myself in front of Jonathan, his classmates, and his teachers. As usual, I had put the handout in a very safe place, but just not a very logical one. Nevertheless, I found it and proceeded to brush up on my chinchilla knowledge during commercial breaks (which were pretty short considering that I was fast forwarding through the commercials.)

The info came back to me so on Friday morning, we had a bit of role reversal as I had Caleb quiz me over the handout. He took a little too much pleasure in pointing out my mistakes, I think. Finally with all that cramming, I was ready to wow those 6 year olds with my knowledge!! (With all my cramming, I am having flashbacks to my college days! )

After drop off at school, I went to pick up the chinchilla, Willow. I told my friend as I was driving back that I have 3 BIG FEARS when I do these Live Animal Demos:

I fear that I will come down with an unforeseeable, instantaneous case of Turret's syndrome and curse words will spew out of my mouth uncontrollably while I am teaching and those kids will learn a little bit more than they bargained for.
I fear that I will accidentally let the animal escape and have to run through the school chasing the scurrying creature yelling, "Stop that chinchilla!" with my hair flying and sweat dripping from my brow.

And this is the big one, folks:

3. I live in real fear that the poor defenseless animal will go to that big chinchilla farm in the sky while I am on duty and I will have to take its lifeless body back and explain what happened on my watch.

Anyhoo, this is not a post about facing fears, but I just wanted to let y'all know that I did face some Friday in the form of Willow the Chinchilla.

Willow was a real cutie pie and we made a great pair. He did all the right things at the right time and none of the wrong ones at the right time. (No pooping on me, no escaping, and Thank You, Jesus, no dying on my watch! )

The kids had a great time and so did I! They were such good listeners and it really fed the teacher side of me to do this. I think that I did a great job of imparting chinchilla facts in an engaging manner. The pictures look like I did the whole presentation with my eyes closed, but I promise, I was awake and entertaining!

Just look at the passion on my face as I explain the bathing habits of the chinchilla:

We had only one small glitch: Right in the middle of my presentation, the school had a FIRE DRILL. Let me tell you, my training as a teacher certainly kicked in then. I hopped up and we all marched out of that building as fast as we could (in a safe and orderly manner, mind you!) It was a good thing for Willow that this was only a drill since I totally left his chinchilla self in the library in his cage. Had this been a real fire, #3 on the Fear List would have taken place and it would not have been pretty.

Thankfully, it was only a drill, so Willow lives to take dirt baths another day. Yep, that's what chinchillas do, they take dirt baths. (remember, I know a lot about these guys?)

After school, I was driving the boys to swim team and I overheard Jonathan say something to Caleb about the little doggy thing that I brought to school today to show his classmates.

I could not believe my ears! DOGGY Thing? Oh Jonathan, where did I go wrong???

Oh well, Maybe somebody else's kid learned something.

Here's one of me, Jonathan and "the doggy thingy"

The Incredible Shrinking Woman

2009-02-20T11:42:00.000-06:00

In February 2008, I topped the scales at my highest weight ever. Even when 9 months pregnant, I had weighed less. I felt very unhealthy and my knee hurt almost nonstop. I was up to 12 advil a day with very little relief.

I half heartedly started working with a trainer at the YMCA and was able to lose 15 pounds. In April, I changed trainers and my plan of attack. Since then I have lost an additional 55 pounds for a grand total of 70 off in one year.

I have learned a lot during this process...

I actually enjoy working out once I get going.
I am stronger than I thought I was both physically and mentally.
My family will not fall apart if I put myself first in order to get a workout.
I will not fall apart if I push myself physically... well, if I do fall apart, I can pull it back together and be stronger for it.
It helps to have accountability and support.
Working out is a part of life, not an interruption.
When someone compliments you, you can just say "Thank you."
It is ok to be afraid of something, but it is not ok to let that fear control what you do: Be afraid, but do it anyway.
Humility is NOT overrated.
Everyone has some sort of "body issue", not just me.
Muscles are very sexy and good for a marriage.
Hearing your boy children say, "Mom, you look so strong" can make you smile.
When you are hungry, ground turkey breast is delicious!
Planning is important, vital, and necessary.
Sometimes you mess up. If you fall down 6 times, you just get up 7. No one is perfect.

I couldn't decide if I wanted to post pictures, but I think that I will.... so here goes. Here's me before at Jonathan's Valentine Party in 2008.

And here I am with Caleb at his Valentine's Party in 2009

When I saw this one on the screen after it was taken, I thought, "Where is the rest of me?"

Then, I remembered that I had left it at the gym.

There you go!

We may never see them again... or they may never see IT again.

2009-02-19T19:28:00.000-06:00

Ok, so it happened. We caved. We bought the boys a Wii for Christmas. I really do not like video games for the kids but the Wii was the one thing that they really really wanted so we gave in. In its defense, we have 4 controllers so we can all play at one time and it really is more active than the other systems. We have enjoyed it (and we have even thought about the possibility of going out on a dinner date while the boys play it. They would never even know we had left.)

But, oh, what a slippery slope we were on!

Caleb decided to save up all his birthday money and Target gift cards and pool it with Jonathan's money so that they could buy a handheld game, Nintendo DS. Oh no, not more!!

Honestly, I have been holding them off since December for this purchase with phrases like:

" I think that the bank is closed right now so we can't get your money."
" Remember that once you spend your money it is all gone and you can'tget anything else with it."
and my personal favorite:

" Why don't you get a piece of candy instead?" (any port in a storm, baby!)

Anyway, Caleb was really done with all of my stalling techiniques so we put all his $ in a ziploc and we headed to the bank and Target yesterday. Warning sounds were going off in my head when I could not peel him away from the Video Game display at Target long enought for him to complete his purchase. But the child had amassed a fortune of 129.00 and who was I to stop him from spending it? (well, I could have, but I didn't.)

So now we have a DS in the house. Let the brain mushiness begin. So long to reading a story, writing, pretending, and face to face communication. Ok, so maybe I am being dramatic, but I do have serious reservations about this whole thing. I decided that what the world meant for "evil" I would use for good and required them to put away their laundry, pick up their toys, take a bath, and get dressed in pj's before they could play the dreaded DS.

This just in: (and seriously, I did not make this stuff up!) I had to take a break in the middle of this very post about the DS in order to break up a fight between my boys about said DS. Now the object of strife is taken away until Saturday.

....and to that my dear friends, I say, "There you go!"

Man Meals

2009-01-31T20:54:00.000-06:00

I want to share with you about a sweet tradition that has evolved around the Hardin House.

It is the MAN MEAL.

It all started when I was gone to a scrapbooking retreat and Jeremy was trying to get the kids pumped up about going to the store to buy food for dinner. The first MAN MEAL consisted of steak, crescent rolls and corn on the cob.

As I understand it, the MAN MEAL must be completely devoid of green vegetables in order to be an actual MAN MEAL. This is one facet of the MAN MEAL that I am trying to change so I spoke with the BIG MAN and asked him to offer broccoli on the MAN MEAL menu. Broccoli being the one vegetable that my boys like as long as it is drenched in Ranch dressing. Can you blame them?

Jeremy usually has a Ribeye and he buys the boys a filet wrapped with bacon. Jonathan calls the bacon, "Cave Bacon" and always makes sure that his filet has "cave bacon" on it. Don't know where that came from, but it sure is cute.

They had a MAN MEAL this weekend and I decided that I would hang out in the other room while they ate. (Partly because I was going to have the ultimate Mom Meal of grilled chicken and I did not want steak and crescent rolls paraded in front of me.)

It was very touching to hear Jeremy pray with the boys that God would take their MAN MEAL and make them grow big and strong and become men who follow God. After the prayer, they chatted about other MAN THINGS that only MEN can talk about.

Isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard?

I gotta get one of these!

2009-01-31T18:03:00.000-06:00

Today we had an event at our church called Kid Blitz Live. Jeremy and I have the pleasure of serving on Sunday mornings with the 3rd - 5th graders using the Kid Blitz fun, fast paced curriculum . One day I will tell you more about my secret identity as Barbara Barker, but that is another blog, another day. Anyhoo, today was the day that Kid Blitz came to our church with their great stage set up and fun games for kids and parents.

Jeremy was a stage hand today for the performance and during one of the games he made a mistake that caused a water balloon to pop on a Dad's head. Nevermind the fact that the Dad's child was using a razor to shave the shaving cream off of the balloon while the Mom held it.
I love this shot of the Dad praying. (God said no to that prayer!)

As a consequence for not "upholding his duties as stage hand to the best of his abilities and to serve as a reminder to do better next time", the Kid blitz guy POOFED Jeremy.

What is POOFING, you may ask? Luckily for you, I have documented the entire thing.

First, we have the offender stand mid-stage. Note how the Kid Blitz guy has safety glasses on for this dangerous activity. He also reminded us that we should not try this at home so I feel like I should give the same disclaimer to you.

After the offender has been properly reminded of his shortcomings and our belief that he can do better in the future, this is what happens:
He gets POOFED with a gigantic puffball and flour! That will teach 'em! The audience loved it and I thought that Jeremy was a great sport!

I think that it was probably all worth it since at the end Jeremy got to use power tools!

Swimming and an Obnoxious Dog

2009-01-30T20:25:00.000-06:00

Been reading lots of blogs out there lately and feeling like my little blog is way behind the times... nevertheless, I will persevere.

The boys had their first swim meet with their new swim club. It was a fun time. We get a chance to visit with some neighborhood friends who are also in the club. (Kristen, that is a shout out to you, girl!) The boys swam well and seem to be improving so we are all happy about that.

The big news around here is that our dog, Libby, had to have her heartworm treatment this week. I decided to take her to my college friend who is a vet in Waco for treatment. Libby was away from home from Monday to Friday. We all missed her more than we thought we would, I think.

Caleb said, "I miss Libby's greetings when I get home from school." I missed having her here while J is out of town because I get spooked easily. If I hear a funny noise at night and it startles me, I just look over at her like a gauge... if she is still lying on her back with her tongue hanging out of her mouth, then all is fine and I can go back to normal.

Our charge for the next 30 days is to keep Liberty calm and inactive so that she is not harmed while the rest of the medicine works. It will be a challenge, but we are ready for it. We love our Libbygirl!

I think that once she is cleared from this we are going to embark upon obedience school for her. Her report from the vet was that the whole office thought she was "obnoxious". I sort of felt like I needed to defend her like a "tiger momma" defending her baby when I heard that. But, it seems that the Libsters barked A LOT while she was at the vet hospital. Why I felt like I should apologize for her behavior, I do not know, but I did. Anyway, we are glad that our obnoxious Liberoni and Cheese is back with us and we look forward to many more obnoxious days together.

Does this dog look obnoxious to you?

Senior Year 1990

2009-01-17T21:47:00.000-06:00

I was reading a new blog today, saw this, and I thought it was fun.

Answer these questions about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be!!

1. Did you date someone from your school? No

2. Did you marry someone from your high school? No

3. Did you car pool to school? We walked...in the rain... uphill....carrying our 10lb backpacks... and my school instrument, the tenor saxophone... or wait...oh yeah.. my parents took me to school in our Forest Green 1979 Ford LTD.

4. What kind of car did you have? I had the pleasure of driving a 1972 Orange Ford Pinto with baby blue interior and a hatchback! It was too cool!

5. What kind of car do you have now? A Mom mobile: A Dodge Grande Caravan with the automatic doors...

6. It's Friday night...where are you? At a ballgame. Fall= football. Winter=Basketball Spring=Baseball

7. It is Friday night...where are you? (now) Watching a movie on the couch or surfing the internet.

8. What kind of job did you have in high school? I worked at American Amicable Insurance in the summers. I had the super interesting job of "purging" the files. Wahoo!

9. What kind of job do you do now? Former teacher, Now Stay at Home Mom (all in CAPS, I might add!)

10. Were you a party animal? When no one was looking...but mostly not.

11. Were you considered a flirt? Not so much.

12. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir? I was in the band. I played the tenor sax, remember. Heck, I was even the Drum Major my senior year! See proof below!

13. Were you a nerd? Probably, but a cool nerd!

14. Did you get suspended or expelled? No, I was pretty much a goody goody!

15. Can you sing the fight song?

Riesel, Riesel, Riesel High school,

You're the school for me

Oh Riesel, Riesel, Riesel High School,

For you I'll always be.

I love your dear old school of spirit,

That stands the test of time.

I love your aims, your aspirations

As long as stars shall shine!!

16. Who was/were your favorite teacher(s)?Mrs. Severson was a great Math teacher. She taught us way more than we thought we needed to know at the time!!

17. Where did you sit during lunch? My senior year I went home for lunch so that I could watch Days of Our Lives... oh secret shame of my youth.

18. What was your school's full name? Riesel High School

19. When did you graduate? 1990

20. What was your school mascot? Indians (sorry....not very politically correct.)

21. If you could go back and do it again, would you? No, I don't think so. It was a hard time, although it did prepare me for life. Once was enough.

22. Did you have fun at Prom? Not really. I went with a group of girls, but I really wanted to have had a date.

23. Do you still talk to the person you went to Prom with? No.

24. Are you planning on going to your next reunion? I don't know if we will have one or not... our 20th will be in 2010...wait a second...That's next year!! Oh my goodness!

25. Do you still talk to people from school? Yes. There were about 33 or 34 in our graduating class. I have reconnected to many through Facebook. I see a few of them every year at our town fair or when I go visit my Mom. Some of us have stayed in constant touch throughout the years.

Linda, looking good in 1990

The Food Journal Saga Part Deaux

2009-01-13T09:29:00.000-06:00

Still trying to work out the whole rebellion thing in my head.

Still haven't written any food down for that trainer of mine either, although honestly, I don't have much to hide so why won't I just write it down?

He said that he had decided that there will be repercussions for his clients who have trouble writing their food down and giving it to him.

What? Repercuss? Me? Surely you jest.

I told him that I did not think that he could "repercuss" me ( all the while thinking .. I am paying to come here... just try and repercuss me.) Oh, I am so bad!

I have been thinking what that would look like: Facing repercussions for not writing down my food journals. Can't decide if the negative is worth the rebellion or not.

The struggle continues.

Today, I decided that last minute, I would jot down yesterday's food items just to show him (and myself) that I am earnest and want to write it down.

In reality, I think that I just want to make it LOOK like I am earnest and want to write it down. I wouldn't want anyone to think poorly of me.

Who am I kidding? I think just myself.

It is still outward obedience, not inner heart obedience. I do the same thing with what the Lord asks me to do. I give him the bare minimum so that it LOOKS like I am His, but yet I reserve so much of myself and my life for me.

Writing food journals will help me reach my goals faster and help me maintain a healthy weight. (a lofty and noble goal.)

But, just think about what I could gain if I would totally submit to the Lord.

Working out more than my abs...

2009-01-09T12:53:00.001-06:00

The other day I was working out with my trainer and he mentioned that he had not gotten any of my food logs via email lately. I told him that perhaps he hadn't gotten them because I have not been keeping them (kind of a crucial point.) During the course of the following conversation, he makes the statement that I am being rebellious.

"Excuse me, beg your pardon? Oh no, he didn't." Oh, yes, he did.

(Mind you, he is still alive today only due to the fact that he had exhausted me with jumping jacks, leg press, lunges, step ups, bicep curls before springing this zinger on me ... Ha ha, he could break me with his pinkie finger, but you know what I mean.)

We continue the workout as usual with a short pause to snicker at "my rebellion" to his eating plan and life goes on. But now, I am stuck with that phrase in my mind. "You are rebellious. You are rebellious." I can't stop thinking about it. I don't like thinking about it because I am pretty sure that that statement applies to more than just my food log and my personal trainer's plan for me.

I want to cry out: But, I am not a rebellious person. How can that be true? I am a "good girl" who does the right things, is nice and kind and a rule follower.

Over the past few days, I have become more aware of my tendency to be the type of person who, when told to sit down and be quiet, will outwardly sit down in the chair and wait patiently. However, on the inside, in my heart, where it counts,

I AM STANDING UP!!!

Because you can make me sit down on the outside, but you cannot make me sit down on the inside.

Not that pretty or nice, is it? My problem now is that I do not really know what to do with this new information about myself. Right now, I am praying that the Lord will give me the strength and desire to sit down on the inside and stay seated.

...and all I really wanted from the gym was a flat stomach.

If I'd known then what I know now, I'd do the same thing all over again.

2009-01-08T18:51:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was our 14th anniversary. I truly love this man and am blessed to be his wife.

Out with the Old

2009-01-03T16:43:00.000-06:00

Jeremy decided to clean out the garage again today. Our garage fills up with clutter faster than you would believe. I guess he was getting tired of the obstacle course that we have had to traverse just to take out the trash. (That is, we, in the universal sense of the word as I rarely take out the trash.) I happened to wander out there right when he started working. When I discovered what he was doing, I eagerly volunteered my services as Organizer Extraordinaire.

I guess I was a little too eager. Can you believe that he said that he would rather do it all by himself? When he told me that he would prefer if I just went in and did not "help" him, I started to feel a tiny bit of tightening in my chest.

No, I was not saddened that my dear husband of almost 14 years did not want me right by his side. I was saddened because extreme cleaning and organization would be happening and I was not going to be a part of it. (I have a little Monica from Friends in me!) I knew that I would have to play my cards right if I was going to be allowed to be a part of this adventure.

I promised to just be a helper and not take over. I told him that I would be available to run and fetch, sweep, etc and that he could make all the decisions. He seemed reluctant to give in, but I promised to keep my word so he let me stay. By the time the job was done, I do think that I was helpful to him, definitely value added and the garage looks great!

I started thinking about how I am to be a helper to him in all areas of life, not just those that get me something in return like a cleaning fix. This does not come easily for me because I like to be "Large and In Charge" of all situations. (Not an excuse, folks, just an explanation.)

I want to be the kind of wife that is a help not a hindrance or a nag. A wife that helps her husband reach his full potential and one that is a soft place to fall when the world is tough on him. Unfortunately, I think that I get bogged down in things that don't matter as much and lose sight of my goals.

Seems like I need to clean out the clutter in my heart a lot more often than he needs to clean the garage, don't you think?

Look deep into my eyes....

2008-12-30T00:31:00.000-06:00

So, Caleb got this book for his birthday called

How to be the Best at Everything: The Boys Book.

He loves this book. It is probably not the best book for him to possess considering that he has been known to say, "Yeah, Mom, I know that life is not a competition, but if it was, I'd be winning" with a very straight face... (We are a very humble family, let me tell you.)

Anyway, the other day he was telling me about this cool book. He has learned a few magic tricks, how to build a fire and other very useful things for boys. I started to wonder though when he asked me if I could get him a chicken. I was only half listening the first time he mentioned it so I started to tell him how we weren't having chicken for breakfast and that he would have to eat what was offered. You know, the usual mom diatribe.

Well, no, folks, he wanted a real chicken because his new book gives him step by step directions on how to HYPNOTIZE A CHICKEN!! Really! He seriously wanted me to provide him with a live chicken so that he could hypnotize it.

Which leads us to tonight....

We were at Grandad and Gramsey's to celebrate Christmas and were winding down for bedtime with an episode of the Dog Whisperer. The boys were only half interested in it and started to play on the floor in front of the tv. Caleb tells Jonathan that he thinks that Cesar should hypnotize the dogs to get them to do what he wants. Jonathan has never heard of hypnotizing and asks Caleb what it means.

Ever helpful, Caleb tells him that he will show Jonathan what it means by actually hypnotizing him. He tells Jonathan to lie down on the floor and then says, "Don't worry Jonathan, You will be ok because I am a vegetarian." Then, he proceeds to wave his hands in front of J's face and tell him some mumbo jumbo that I am sure he got from the book. He pronounced that Jonathan was hypnotized.

If indeed being a vegetarian is important in the hypnotizing process, I really think Jonathan ought to worry since I am pretty sure that vegetarians actually have to eat vegetables other than french fries.

PS. After walking around like a zombie for the next 10 minutes, Jonathan giggles and whispers in my ear at bedtime, "Caleb really didn't hypnotize me. I was just pretending."

Whew, I was getting worried.

A Golden Day

2008-12-22T17:41:00.000-06:00

"Make new friends, keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold."

Yesterday, we had the pleasure of hosting our old friends for a play day at our home. Erin drove in with her 3 kids, MA came with her 2, Carey had her 3, Sue had her 3 and I had my 2. Laura could not make it today and was missed!

We have not been all together in quite some time since life has pulled us all in different directions and cities. However, it felt so great to reconnect today. Our kids did a super job of playing together: we only had about 86 interruptions, 2 minor injuries and one instance of possible poisoning. Not bad for 5+ hours with 13 kids. (before you start to worry about the poisoning incident, one of the 2 year olds ate a cavity disclosing tablet and had her mouth died red for a while...I bet that will show up in the potty later!)

These girls are my golden friends. We have laughed, prayed and cried together. I don't have a sister, but they give me a glimpse into sisterhood. I love them all!

Baby, It's cold outside...

2008-12-10T17:05:00.000-06:00

Guess what happened while I was in the car rider line today? It snowed. Yes, in Houston, Texas, it actually snowed. Pretty cool.

When I got my boys in the car, along with the neighbor boy, they were giddy with excitement. Caleb said, "When we get home, I want to go play football outside like the Green Bay Packers."
The other boys cheered from the back seat of the van.

So, we drove home, got on our cold weather gear and they played football in the cold for oh... about 6 minutes...TOPS, and that includes knocking on the neighbor's door to get him to come outside. (Packers' scouts had better look elsewhere.)

There you go!

Happy Birthday to Us

2008-12-09T17:24:00.001-06:00

Today is my 37th birthday and it is great to be alive. It has not been hard to turn 37 at all. I actually feel younger this year than I did last year, probably due to cleaning up my eating and exercising. And oh, how this celebration differs from last year.

This year, I went to the gym to work out with my trainer, ate at Subway with a friend, and had pedicures together after that. I really had a great day. Someone even told me at the school dismissal that I looked like a Birthday Girl today. There you go... I felt like a Birthday Girl today!

The interesting thing about birthdays around here is the fact that while I am the Birthday Girl, we also have a Birthday Boy. Yes, nine years and nine months ago I did some very poor planning or very good planning, depending on how you look at it. My firstborn, Caleb was born on my birthday.

It is a fun thing sharing a birthday with your son. It is not a fun thing to have a son on your birthday.

He was actually due on Dec 10th, but he was breech (our first indication that he intended to do things his way!) so the dr wanted to do a C-Section. She offered me the choice of the 9th or 10th. I chose the 9th thinking that it would be such a great thing to have a baby on my birthday. Since my brain blocked everything that they told me in the childbirth classes that I took, I did not realize that a C-section was not the easy way out of childbirth but was actually major surgery.

Linda's vision of her birthday in 1999: Present herself for delivery at 6:30 am wearing full make-up. (I wondered why the dr. laughed at me when I asked Jeremy if my hair looked ok during her presurgery exam.) Be wheeled in to the operating room, through the magic of doctors (much like the magic of Disney in my mind), be presented with the baby, and then have cake that night while the cherub sleeps in her arms.

Trust me, folks, it did not go down like that. Except that I did wear full makeup to the hospital. My birthday meal consisted of about 1/4 cup ice chips and some great meds in my epidural.

Tonight, my birthday meal will be at Shoguns. Maybe if I ask nicely, I can get some ice chips.