Working out more than my abs...

The other day I was working out with my trainer and he mentioned that he had not gotten any of my food logs via email lately. I told him that perhaps he hadn't gotten them because I have not been keeping them (kind of a crucial point.) During the course of the following conversation, he makes the statement that I am being rebellious.

"Excuse me, beg your pardon? Oh no, he didn't." Oh, yes, he did.

(Mind you, he is still alive today only due to the fact that he had exhausted me with jumping jacks, leg press, lunges, step ups, bicep curls before springing this zinger on me ... Ha ha, he could break me with his pinkie finger, but you know what I mean.)

We continue the workout as usual with a short pause to snicker at "my rebellion" to his eating plan and life goes on. But now, I am stuck with that phrase in my mind. "You are rebellious. You are rebellious." I can't stop thinking about it. I don't like thinking about it because I am pretty sure that that statement applies to more than just my food log and my personal trainer's plan for me.

I want to cry out: But, I am not a rebellious person. How can that be true? I am a "good girl" who does the right things, is nice and kind and a rule follower.

Over the past few days, I have become more aware of my tendency to be the type of person who, when told to sit down and be quiet, will outwardly sit down in the chair and wait patiently. However, on the inside, in my heart, where it counts,

I AM STANDING UP!!!

Because you can make me sit down on the outside, but you cannot make me sit down on the inside.

Not that pretty or nice, is it? My problem now is that I do not really know what to do with this new information about myself. Right now, I am praying that the Lord will give me the strength and desire to sit down on the inside and stay seated.

...and all I really wanted from the gym was a flat stomach.