A Daughter's Tribute

This week did not turn out like I had planned. I planned to shop for my trip to Puerto Rico, work on the backdrop for Jonathan's 1st grade program, take the kids to swim team, get my hair highlighted, watch my eating very closely and train hard.

Instead, I buried my mom. Here's what I said for her eulogy...






What can I say about Mama? Some of you may not have known our mother the way that we did so I want to honor her and celebrate her life by giving you a better glimpse of who she really was.

Most who met Mama would say that she was always kind to them. She was quick with a smile and had a great sense of humor even though she tended to be very private and did not share herself with everyone. She respected others and did not feel the need to force her opinions on them. She often worried that people thought that she was stand-offish, but in fact, that was her way of respecting them and their rights to make their own choices. This quality made her a great listener, and others often came to her for her advice which she would give only when asked.

There was not much that Mama was not willing to try. She would rise to most any challenge. She was so intelligent and was always learning, just because she could. While she was enrolled at TSTC as a 55 year old, she looked forward to the mental challenges that the course work gave her. The students around her would look to her for assistance and she would take the time to help them if she could. Justin told me that thought of that time at TSTC as one of the best periods of her life.

Mama had relentless perseverance and an ability to forge ahead regardless of what life dealt her. No matter how hard I try, I can never do justice to what she overcame in her lifetime. She faced many hardships in her life with a dogged determination and with a sort of submission and acceptance that I did not always understand. The latest obstacle was the lung cancer that she had been dealing with over the last 2 years. When she was first diagnosed, she had a calmness and a peace about her. She told me once that if this was what the Lord had for her then she knew that it was His plan and she would accept it. I hope that one day, Justin and I will have the outstanding faith that it took her to say that and mean it like she did. When the cancer returned in this past month, she told me “No matter what happens, it is all going to be ok.” And she really meant it then too. Those wise words comfort my brother and me as we miss her so much right now.

Mama was consistent and dependable and had an outstanding work ethic. She often said, “A job worth doing is worth doing well.” She took pride in doing her best at every task no matter how big or how small.

Mama was generous. She had a tender heart toward others. She would give something to someone even when she might have to go without because of the gift she was giving. She made sure that her family was taken care of even if it meant she had to sacrifice something important to her. Recently, I asked her if she had enough money, wondering if she needed to borrow any from us to meet her needs. She quickly asked me, “Why, do you need to borrow some?” Her generous nature almost broke my heart that day. Sweet, thoughtful mama.
Mama had a humble, servant heart. She was the kind of person that would think about other people before herself. She never liked asking for help, but she was always ready to lend a helping hand to others and would do everything in her power to help. Many of you here today have been served by her at one of the stores in Riesel. You were probably greeted with her sweet smile and a cheerful hello. She served her children well also. Justin and I have fond memories of her making our morning coffee for us. When we were growing up, we loved to listen to the sound of her working in the kitchen in the morning. We would hear her whistling under her breath and we we knew that all was right in the world.

No one loves you like your mama does and, our Mama, was certainly no exception. She and Daddy had difficulty beginning their family with the tragedy of miscarriages and even losing baby John in infancy. But she always told Daddy that it was her dream to be a mother. And in my opinion, she was the best one around.

Mama and Daddy adopted me in 1971 when I was 12 days old. She did such a great job of loving me well. I never questioned her love for me. When I was growing up, strangers might say, “Your daughter looks just like you.” Mama would just answer proudly, “Thank you” without missing a beat or feeling like she needed to explain our lack of biological connection. What a gift that was to me.

I still remember when I was 7 and Justin was born. It was another great day in Mama's life: She had another child to love and she truly did love him with all her heart. After he was born, she could not fathom leaving him to go back to work so she embarked upon a home day care business to allow her to spend more time with him and watch him grow. She adapted well to having a son: Justin remembers her throwing the football and baseball with him in the front yard when he was playing little league. At one time, she could throw a fairly decent spiral “for a girl”. He also has memories of her helping him memorize his football plays in high school. She was always so proud to support him in his sports and rarely missed a game or a track meet.

Justin and I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that we were loved by her. We were loved sacrificially. Mama gave up so much of herself to make sure that we were taken care of. Her devotion to her children was truly extraordinary. We absolutely, unequivocally came first. She put our needs ahead of her own.

Mama was always on our side. We knew that she was in our corner no matter what. Having her on our side strengthened us as we ventured into our adult lives. Often, I would call her up and tell her how the world was being “mean” to me and she was always a great listener and would drop whatever she was doing and take the time to talk to me. She could make it all better for me as if I were a child and she was kissing my boo boo. I always felt better after sharing my heart with her.

You knew when you had done something that made Mama happy or proud. She had a certain look on her face that was so telling of how she felt on the inside. Her eyes would light up and she would give a great big smile. Justin and I both loved being able to bring that out in her.

This past weekend, I had such a wonderful time with Mama. I took her to her radiation appointment and then she announced that she wanted to treat me to lunch at Luby's, our favorite from my childhood days. We ate and got caught up on each other's lives. We shopped a little, too. No trip to Waco is complete without a trip to Wal-Mart, you know. Then, we went home and watched videos of Jonathan and Caleb, her grandsons, and just had a fun time being together. Neither one of us knew that it would be the last time that we spent together. We both made plans for the next time that we would see one another. I am so thankful for that weekend and the precious time that we had.


Justin also had a sweet time with mom on Sunday after I left. They went out to the farm, looked at the cows, and enjoyed spending time together admiring the farm and the pretty day. As Justin checked on her before she went to bed that night, she told him, “Don't worry about me. I'll be ok.” This is his last memory of her, as herself. She was always a mama, always protecting and thinking of her children.

My very last memory of her, as herself, is also bittersweet. We had a little good-bye ritual dating back to when I went away to college. Whenever I would leave after a visit and head out to wherever my life was taking me, Mama would always walk me outside and give me a hug before I left. As I was driving away, I would always look over my shoulder and give her one last wave. This past weekend was no different. I looked over my shoulder and waved. Mama waved back and I was on my way full of her love. I will cherish this memory forever and ever.

I would like to share this scripture from 1 Corinthians 13 with you about the kind of love that Mama showed us.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Mama had this kind of love.

And then it goes on to say...

For now we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now, we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror. Then, we shall see face to face. Now, I know in part. Then, I shall know fully even as I am fully known.

Mama lived these characteristics of love for us on a daily basis in her life. Not perfectly, because no one can can as perfection has not come yet, but she did live them here on earth. While we are grieving, we are comforted that now her perfection has come and she sees the Lord not as a poor reflection in the mirror, but face to face. She is fully known and made whole and complete in the Lord's love.

And these three remain. Faith hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

She would always say that Home is where Mama is... meaning that she felt at home when she was with her Mama no matter where she was physically. Well, now Justin and I can truly say that, too. Home is where Mama is and I look forward to the day when we are reunited in heaven.