Kids say the darndest things: Caleb version

Two weekends ago as we were getting ready to drop him off at childcare for Parent's Night Out at church:
"Mom, I am really getting tired of you abandoning us all the time so that you can go out on dates with Daddy."

Nice try, son. You almost had us, but not quite.   We continued with our plans and abandoned him for 3 whole hours while he played video games and basketball at church.

Fast forward to this past weekend as Caleb was getting prepared to go to an overnight sleepover lasting from 4pm until 9 am the next day:
"Caleb, we are really getting tired of you abandoning our family to go to birthday parties.  We think you should stay home."  (wink, wink)

But that turkey did not miss a beat, he replied, "But, Mom, I will be having fun when I go."

There you go.

How's that for good driving?

Yesterday, the boys and I were in the van headed to drop Jonathan off at a birthday party.  We were not late, but there was not a lot of cushion either so I was driving fairly quickly through a green light at an intersection.  This intersection was a little higher than the road so I was able to get the van to catch some air and we felt like we were flying for a few milliseconds. 

Jonathan said, "Wow, Mom.  That felt like a rollercoaster.  My penis was flying through the air."

Well.  I have nothing to add to that one. 

There you go.

Pork fat rules in the gym, too.

This morning, I was working out with my trainer at his gym.   Jeremy brought the boys about halfway through my work out because he had to go to Cub Scout training.  He was looking mighty dapper in that Grown Man Scout Uniform, let me tell you. Psst: Not really.  I think that the grown men look a little silly. But the boys look so so cute!!  I do applaud him for the effort that he puts forth with Scouts and with our boys so I overlooked the uniform and greeted him with a kiss.  He got the boys occupied in the foyer so that I could finish up the last half of my workout. 

All was going well:   Jeremy was on his way to training.  Kids were patiently waiting doing whatever.   I was working up good sweat while chatting with my trainer about my eating plan and how following it would ensure losing another 2 pounds this week. 

 Between my repetitions of seated rows,  I heard a small disturbance come from around the corner in the foyer.  The boys were struggling about something.  They settled down soon enough, but I still thought that I should take a look at them.  After I finished that set, I used my luxuriously-long 45 second break to waltz over to see what was up.

I wish that I had had a camera, but I never ever expected to see anything like this.  Guess, I should take some scout training myself and "Always Be Prepared."

Let me describe for you the scene:
Jonathan was sitting in the chair playing the DS game.  (You may recall that I have a love hate hate hate relationship with the DS from this post)

Let me continue: 

Jonathan was sitting in the chair playing the DS game with Caleb's head so close that you might have thought that they were connected.  Both boys' eyes were glued to the small screen.  As I wiped my sweaty brow, imagine my surprise when I saw the bacon.  Bacon? Yes. Bacon. 
 
Jonathan had a piece of bacon hanging out of his mouth that his brother was holding for him.   Caleb was shoving it in as Jonathan chewed.  All while never missing a beat with  the video game.  

Being the good Cub Scout family that we are, we have taught them the buddy system.  Stick together with your buddy and help him out as needed.  We encourage them to use it and praise them when they do.  But, I never, ever thought  that they would use it as a food delivery method for a buddy who was in the middle of a video game. 

It was wrong on so many levels, y'all.  I shook my head in disbelief, shock, and a tiny bit of shame as I headed back to my work out. 

You may be asking yourself, "Why did they have bacon?"  Obviously, it was because they needed it to round out the breakfast of donuts and chocolate milk that they also had with them.  I mean, what is the use of massive amounts of trans fats and high fructose corn syrup if you can't wash it down with a little pork fat?

The worst part of it was when my trainer asked me what had happened.  I could not think fast enough to make up a better story so I told him the ugly truth all while avoiding eye contact with him.  All I could do was to try to laugh it off.  Oh well. Parents of the Year Award goes to.....

Before you think that I am just throwing Jeremy under the bus for giving this stuff to the kids, I need to confess:   After my work out last Saturday,  I bought them donut holes and chocolate milk, too. Also, I have no problem with them eating bacon, just, maybe, not at the gym.  And maybe, just maybe, they could manage to tear themselves away from the DS long enough to feed themselves rather than using the buddy system.

There you go!

Have you ever had a friend that you haven't spoken to in a long time and as time drags on, you start to wonder what you might have done to make them upset and not call? You ask yourself, "What did I say that made them mad?" and replay your last conversation analyzing every word for what you might have done wrong. You get the picture.

I think that my blog has started to wonder what it has done to offend me.

I have not written in many months. However, I have started a few blogs but left them unfinished. (I am holding out hope that this one gets completed. The jury is still out.)

Never fear, my dear blog, you and I are ok. We're good. I am not mad at you. You have not offended me. I just lost my voice for a little while, but it might be coming back little by little.

To say the least, my life has been different and difficult since April. Sometimes, I have to use my sheer determination to fight off grief. If you who know me, you know that I am quite determined. Sometimes, though, grief does not care how determined I am. It creeps up when I least expect it and I find myself defenseless (or so it may seem at first glance.)

Like today, I was driving to Bible study and I had the urge to call my mom as I have done on Wednesday mornings for the past few years. I reached over to pick up the phone and then WHAM! I get the sudden realization (again) that I can call, but she will not answer.

It hit me like a ton of bricks right in the middle of my chest. Seriously, this is a physical pain that I feel. It made me feel so vulnerable and disempowered. In a strange way, I had to go through the intense feelings of losing her again in that moment. I was flooded with grief and confusion mixed with guilt and anger. I scolded myself thinking, "How could you let that happen again? You know that your mother has died. How could you forget? What kind of daughter are you?"

Once I was done with the scolding and needed to deal with the emotions at hand, all I knew to do is to pray for comfort and peace. (which is doing quite a lot, actually.)

Sometimes comfort comes in the form of a distraction, or a task that awaits demanding my full attention, or a sweet friend that calls to chat, or simply a song. Today, it was a song. When the worship leader started playing the hymn, "Because He Lives" and I realized what we were singing, I felt like God was giving me a big hug. I am so thankful for that. I really needed it. I prayed and comfort came. Thanks for thinking of me God.

I CAN face uncertain days because He lives.
Hey, I finished a blog post! There you go!!